Interested in getting your own thought leader profile? Get Started Today.

Amar Patel

Coach at Patel Parent Coaching LLC

Homestead, United States

My family and I emigrated from Kenya to England, and shortly thereafter, to America during my early teens. It was strenuous getting accustomed to new countries, cultures, educational institutions, and social environments during my adolescence. I struggled at my core – it felt as if I was swimming against the currents. Being Indian, born in Kenya (a third world nation) and then moving to the starkly contrasting Western countries, was a shock to my being.

Nevertheless, I was authentic to my roots, I turned to my surrounding adult figures for help. I yearned to learn how to process the new environment, to help me find my way “home,” and to truly feel accepted. It was challenging even with their support. With adult guidance, I poured myself into education and entrepreneurship, and more specifically, into technology. I found comfort in the deterministic arena of computers and software. I felt I was serving and honoring my true self as an application creator. I also took to the Honors College at my university to help me broaden my education. I felt more cosmopolitan because of what I learned in the soft sciences at the Honors College. Both my Computer Science degree and Honors College degree helped me balance my mechanical inclination with the principles of the social sciences, respectively.

However, below the surface, I still felt that I did not belong in my new home. Something essential was missing or keeping me from being whole (as I considered myself in Kenya). I took a world religions course and became acquainted with various religions; I was fascinated at the similarities between them. My intuition willed me to search internally, I wanted to dig more deeply into religions and their oneness. This was when I had the first discovery of inward mindfulness. My heart yearned for connection with my true self, and I ended up joining - unbeknownst to me at the time - a local congregation of an international cult. I left this shortly after I realized it was not serving me purposefully.

While discovering inward mindfulness, I was not ready to give up on my worldly ambitions. After all, my family undertook many hardships migrating to America. However, I thought the path of mindfulness would inevitably lead to an outcome of becoming a monk or an ascetic; that was not my goal. Thus, I further channeled my energy into education, career and family.

After I got married, my wife and I were blessed with a precious daughter, which brought more purpose to my spiritual journey. I discovered Dr. Shefali and she rekindled my curiosity about inward mindfulness. Additionally, I learned about Sue DeCaro and her work. The methodological process of how to shift the mind’s focus inwards, intrigued me. I started to understand that the combination of Eastern and Western philosophy and ways of living, was indeed realizable, and not just a pipe dream.

I enrolled in Landmark and completed the Curriculum for Living. I learned more about myself and gained a deeper a sense of how similar people are despite their backgrounds, religions, upbringings, and socio-economic statuses. It was the mirror feeling of rejuvenation and connection I got from my learnings at the Honors College. I found Landmark’s teachings to be, for the most part, psychological with hints of spirituality.

Soon after I graduated from having completed the Curriculum for Living, I realized I was still struggling internally. My relationship with my daughter and the passing away of my father-in-law was challenging and raised my consciousness immensely. I turned back to Sue and Dr. Shefali. I was motivated more than ever to serve myself, mindfully and not pass down trauma to the next generation. I wanted to provide healing and guidance to children; Dr. Shefali and Sue DeCaro showed me how to do this. Following this chapter, I successfully completed the Conscious Parenting Method Certification Program (CPMCP).

Today, I define myself as a conscious parent, parent coach, and educator - my style is based on the wholistic integration of both Eastern and Western wisdom. I live in Florida, USA, and I am home. I support parents, individuals, and couples in enhancing their personal and professional relationships while going through inevitable life challenges. If you need help finding your way home, please reach out to me for a free consultation.

Available For: Consulting
Travels From: Homestead, Florida
Speaking Topics: Parenting

Amar Patel Points
Academic 0
Author 0
Influencer 0
Speaker 0
Entrepreneur 0
Total 0

Points based upon Thinkers360 patent-pending algorithm.

Thought Leader Profile

Portfolio Mix

Company Information

Company Type: Company
Business Unit: Parenting
Theatre: Worldwide
Minimum Project Size: Undisclosed
Average Hourly Rate: Undisclosed
Number of Employees: Undisclosed
Company Founded Date: Undisclosed

Areas of Expertise

Diversity and Inclusion
Health and Safety
Health and Wellness
Mental Health
Project Management
Supply Chain

Industry Experience

Aerospace & Defense
Engineering & Construction
Higher Education & Research
Professional Services
Real Estate
Travel & Transportation


1 Miscellaneous
3 Things You Can Do to Always Attune to Your Child’s Big Emotions
Amar Premsaran Patel
August 19, 2022
Children do not know what they do not know; that is the underlying problem. Ideally, a child knows how to communicate with their parents in a way that even in the child’s moments of heightened emotions, the child knows their parents get them and understand them; children yearn for such connectivity with their parents. They want things like, the parents expressing their thoughts, asking questions, displaying their affection and understanding their emotions. Understanding a child’s emotions encompasses empathizing with the emotion or feeling, naming the emotion or feeling and assessing the severity of the emotion or feeling. I must admit, I had no idea about the aforementioned process of understanding the emotions or feelings of a child until my daughter was about 6 years old.

The catalyst for my learning how to understand a child’s emotion was one day when my six-year-old daughter was upset. I looked at her and could tell she was upset but did not give it a second thought. My default mode at the time for dealing with her emotions was “Give it time, it will be alright.” I thought, it cannot be that bad. I realized later, I was missing the mark.

At some point later, I had remembered my daughter was upset and was conscious enough to ask her what it was all about. She looked at me and burst out, “I felt like holding a gun to my head and shooting myself.” WOW! I remember thinking, I was frightened and terrified. I knew the only guns my daughter had touched were the Nerf ones (which shoot foam bullets) and water ones. How could my six-year-old daughter say such words? How upset and angry could she have been to even use those words? And how on earth did I misunderstand her when she was really that upset?

In retrospect, I realized I had missed the mark, and what a mark did I miss. I thought it was not that bad when she was upset, but really my daughter was fuming underneath the covers. What I learned from this experience was to validate her emotion, firstly and quickly. And secondly, to verify the type and temperature of the emotion as soon as possible.

When a child is upset, it is imperative the child knows that the parent see and hear her by acknowledging her hurt. This way the child understand you are taking her feelings seriously. You can let them know that you see and hear them by dropping whatever it is you are doing and getting eye-level with them. Then you could say something like, “I see you are upset right now, it must be very difficult.” Then say what it looks like to you...something like, “You look really angry, what color are you feeling?” And if she says, “Yes, I am red,” you can further validate, based on the exerted sharpness of her tone of her voice, “You must be feeling dark, dark, red.” Or, if the tone of her voice is mellow, you could inquire, “You must be feeling red and a little blue?” Of course, this method of inquiry is based on your child’s ability to intuitively relate colors to emotions and intensity of those emotions to the shades of colors. I taught my daughter to relate emotions and feelings to colors, because I knew she likes colors and it would be easier for me to gage her feelings when things turn emotional. If unlike my daughter, your child relates to numbers better, then you could identify the emotion and then use a numbers scale to determine the intensity level of the emotion; for example, 1 would be a low-intensity emotion or feeling and 10 would be a very, very, very high-intensity feeling or emotion. Thus, when my daughter says, “dark, dark, red,” I know right away she is very, very angry, because she relates red to anger and the darker the shade of red the stronger her anger. If she says that she is blue and red, I know she is angry and sad, because she relates blue to the emotion or feeling of being sad. This way I understand my daughter’s emotions and can empathize with her, because I have the emotion’s name and the intensity level.

After understanding my daughter’s emotions, I can create mental space within my mind and have time to think how to respond. Furthermore, I can get my mental state attuned to that of my daughter and that helps me connect with her genuinely and even in the most heated of moments the edge around her hyper-strong emotions is blunted, because she realizes that I understand her. In the long run, consistently using this technique is key to transforming your relationship with your child into a deeper connection.

Connection is like a long chain cultivated one link at a time. The chain grows in length with each link. It takes time and mindfulness to create each link and attach it to the existing chain of the relationship. With many links established in the chain, the chain grows deeper and so do our child’s understanding of their parents (and thankfully, the parents’ understanding of the child). The first step is to know that there is a way forward, a better way than doing nothing, or assuming time will heal the child’s hurt. The child now knows the parent has the ability to understand her and the parent knows they have the ability to understand the child; there is no unknown anymore. Once you know there is a way forward, the way through the emotion is understanding that a single link can be made with practice and discipline, and with enough rapport built with your child. She understands that you take her feelings seriously and you know how to help her understand that. She then opens up her world to you and you have opened up your world to her. She knows she can trust you, and you know you can understand her, because you are present with her and get her.

There will still be moments of upset, but they will likely not be as brash and jagged, their edges will be rounded and not razor sharp, they will not hurt so much, because you will also be able to more accurately discern the emotion. Nevertheless, still always validate the emotion, because being unassuming is the best path forward with any child. You never know what she is truly feeling unless you ask her. Even the temperature, intensity, number scale, or shade of color – ask that too to be sure. It’s a process of discipline.

Here are 3 things you can do to always attune to your child’s big emotions:
1. Express what you see: acknowledge her feeling – say, something like “You look upset, it must be really hard.”
2. Get the name of the emotions – ask “Is it red, blue, purple?”
3. Get the intensity of the emotion - find out if it “dark red” or “dark, dark, dark red”

See publication

Tags: Culture, Health and Wellness, Mental Health



Contact Amar Patel

Book a Meeting

Media Kit

Share Profile

Contact Info


Amar Patel