Sylvia Lafair, PhD

Leadership Lessons from Solar Eclipses: Embracing Change and Vision
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April 08, 2024

Summary: Millions of people were mesmerized by the solar eclipse. With its awe-inspiring beauty and profound symbolism, it is more than just a celestial spectacle. Just as the moon momentarily obscures the sun, leaders often face challenges that dim their vision or obscure their path. By reflecting

Greatness Can Be Defined in Many Ways: First It Is a Glimmer
CEOPTIONS
April 04, 2024

Summary: We are all creators of our own stories. Here is one that shows the power of reacting to a small glimmer. That glimmer can go unnoticed. However, it can also lead you to a more robust and amazing path.

Glimmers to Greatness: Cultivating Relationship Connections
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April 01, 2024

Summary: Relationships lie at the heart of effective leadership. They are the bedrock upon which trust, collaboration, and influence are built. The ability to forge and nurture meaningful relationships is paramount for leaders seeking to navigate complexity and drive sustainable change. Dear Dr. Syl

Unveiling the Power of Systems Theory: Glimmers of Workplace Connections and Organizational Brilliance
CEO
March 27, 2024

To make things worse, his main senior leader panders to our boss and says, “Whatever he wants is how we will work. No questions asked!”

Setting the Stage for GLIMMERS to GREATNESS: Illuminating the Leader’s Path
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March 20, 2024

Summary: Leadership stands as the cornerstone of progress, innovation, and transformation. The journey from glimmers of potential to the heights of greatness is one that countless leaders embark upon, each with unique challenges, triumphs, and lessons learned along the way. In this dynamic environme

Senior Leaders as Serfs vs. Being Colleagues: Redefining Organizational Dynamics
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March 18, 2024

Summary: Senior leaders often oscillate between two starkly different paradigms in business culture and hierarchical structures: serfdom and collegiality. These paradigms encapsulate contrasting approaches to leadership, shaping the organizational atmosphere and the workforce’s efficiency and

The Curious Leader: Unveiling the Path to Success
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March 13, 2024

Summary: Two words open a world of exploration for all leaders and emerging leaders. Imagine only two words for more new ideas, products, and services. Join me as we open new paths to next-level success. Dear Dr. Sylvia, My team is talking about innovation, yet no new ideas are surfacing. They are s

Glimmers to Greatness: Illuminate Your Leadership Brilliance
Linkedln
March 12, 2024

Summary: The journey from potential to greatness is often marked by subtle signals and tiny sparks of brilliance. When recognized and harnessed, they can illuminate the path to extraordinary success. Let’s explore the art of turning possibilities into profound achievements.

Glimmers to Greatness: Illuminate Your Leadership Brilliance
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March 11, 2024

Summary: The journey from potential to greatness is often marked by subtle signals and tiny sparks of brilliance. When recognized and harnessed, they can illuminate the path to extraordinary success. Let’s explore the art of turning possibilities into profound achievements. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I

The Transformative Power of a GLIMMER: Unleashing Leadership Potential
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March 06, 2024

Dear Dr. Sylvia, I want to leave my present job. It makes no sense! I am paid well and have great relationships with most of my colleagues. However, my dream was to become a physician, and here I am, a lawyer! “How did that happen?” you ask. Back then, I needed to please my parent…

Navigating Workplace Dilemmas: Unraveling the “He Said/She Said/They Said” Conundrum
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March 04, 2024

Summary: Let’s explore the complexities of the “He Said/She Said/They Said” mismatched stories at work. I want to shed light on potential consequences and offer strategies to address and prevent such scenarios. Dear Dr. Sylvia, We had three excellent employees resign in the past mo

Diversity Training Dilemmas: Unraveling the Controversies
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February 26, 2024

Summary: Diversity training has been a cornerstone of organizational development in recent years, aiming to foster inclusive workplace cultures. However, a growing number of companies are now questioning or even discontinuing their diversity training programs. Here are the reasons behind this trend.

The Enduring Echo: Tracing the Progression of Guns in Our Obsessed Culture
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February 21, 2024

Summary: When did we become so obsessed with guns? The relationship between society and firearms has become a topic of increasing concern and interest. Many of my clients have horrific stories about how guns have impacted their lives, often over generations. What is the answer to “why can̵

Navigating Growth: Where are You on the 7 Stages of Business Development?
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February 19, 2024

Summary: The journey from startup to mature organization is an exhilarating and challenging adventure. Many startups aspire to evolve into mature entities, but only a select few successfully navigate the complexities of growth. Let’s explore critical stages that can help your company transitio

Unmasking the Illusion: The Pitfalls of Quick Fixes in Executive and Life Coaching
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February 14, 2024

Summary: The demand for quick solutions and instant gratification is more prevalent than ever. While the promise of simple answers and rapid results may seem appealing, a closer look reveals a lack of lasting impact in many coaching approaches. Here’s why they often fail to create sustainable,

Combating Workplace Challenges: Silence is the Enemy
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February 12, 2024

Summary: Let’s explore why silence is the enemy at work. Did you ever wonder why so many competent individuals ignore that silent elephant in the room rather than speak out to be heard? Here’s the route to heightened workplace satisfaction. Dear Dr. Sylvia, As the head of a very creative

Celebrating Success: The Empowerment of Women Tooting Their Own Horns
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February 07, 2024

Summary: The world is increasingly recognizing the achievements of women in various fields. Thus, there is a growing need for women to take charge of their stories and proudly share their successes. Dear All, Today, I am celebrating my achievements as an executive and leadership coach. Once again, I

How Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Stressful Situations
CEOPTIONS
February 07, 2024

It doesn’t seem to stop. Just as soon as I have one problem solved at work, another shows up.

The Path to Long-Term Well-being at Work: Exploring the Difference Between Peace and Harmony
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February 05, 2024

Summary: In the quest for healthier work settings, the concepts of peace and harmony emerge as crucial pillars. Both ideas advocate for positive change. Let’s examine which offers a better route for long-term well-being at work. Dear Dr. Sylvia, We are having an interesting “intellectual

Navigating the Workplace Maze: The Impact of Employee Misalignment on Organizational Vision
CEOPTIONS
January 31, 2024

Now, I know everyone thinks about this from time to time. It feels good to consider either quitting a job or a relationship. Then, many of us take a deep breath, see the good, and keep going.

The Multifaceted Nature of Intelligence “We are More than a Number!”
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January 29, 2024

Summary: Beyond the confines of IQ tests, Intelligence manifests in diverse ways, shaping our understanding of human capabilities. Do you wonder what your IQ would be if the intricacies and nuances that contribute to our cognitive landscape gave you a more reliable core score? Dear Dr Sylvia, My son

Obsolete or Relevant?: Take a Look at Your Work Style
Linkedln
January 25, 2024

Summary: Is your work style keeping up with the times, or is it becoming obsolete? Let’s explore the dynamics of work styles today and share insights on staying relevant.

Exploring Societal Beliefs in the Barbie Film: A Reflection on Modern Ideas
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January 23, 2024

Dear Dr. Sylvia, I loved reading your book “GUTSY: How Women Leaders Make Change.” You were ahead of the curve writing about Barbie way before the film entered our psyche. For instance, how did you know Barbie’s strong pull on young girls? I remember you saying in a speech that you

Wired Connections: Drawing Parallels Between Power Grids in Electricity and Human Relationships
CEO
January 22, 2024

The other day, we had a blackout in our neighborhood due to a dreadful storm. It left flooded streets and cars that were soggy inside.

Wired Connections: Drawing Parallels Between Power Grids in Electricity and Human Relationships
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January 18, 2024

Summary: Just as electricity powers our modern lives through intricate networks, human relationships form a dynamic grid that sustains our social fabric. Let’s explore the fascinating parallels between the power grid in electricity and the complex web of connections that bind us as humans. Dea

Nurturing Personal and Organizational Health: A Systems Thinking Approach to Dealing with a “Bully Boss”
Ceoptions
April 11, 2024

In today’s workplace, the behavior of senior leaders plays a pivotal role in shaping organizational culture and employee well-being. Challenges often arise when dealing with a “bully boss,” whose strong-willed nature can create a toxic environment. Adopting a systems thinking approach, which emphasizes understanding the interconnectedness of various elements within a system, along with causal links, offers a strategic framework to address the issue effectively.

Unraveling Glimmers to Greatness: Navigating Systems Theory in Modern Organizations
Linkedln
March 26, 2024

Summary: One theory stands out as a guiding light to illuminate the leader’s path: Systems Theory. Let’s explore its definition, fundamental principles, and application in understanding the interconnectedness and interdependence within organizations. Additionally, we’ll spotlight some pioneering companies that have successfully integrated Systems Theory into their frameworks, propelling them toward greatness.

Setting the Stage for GLIMMERS to GREATNESS: Illuminating the Leader’s Path
Linkedln
March 21, 2024

Summary: Leadership stands as the cornerstone of progress, innovation, and transformation. The journey from glimmers of potential to the heights of greatness is one that countless leaders embark upon, each with unique challenges, triumphs, and lessons learned along the way. In this dynamic environment, where change is constant, and complexities abound, the need for effective leadership has never been more pronounced.

The Curious Leader: Unveiling the Path to Success
Ceoptions
March 14, 2024

Summary: Two words open a world of exploration for all leaders and emerging leaders. Imagine only two words for more new ideas, products, and services. Join me as we open new paths to next-level success.

The Transformative Power of a GLIMMER: Unleashing Leadership Potential
Linkedln
March 07, 2024

Medical school would be too much of a burden on me and my family at this point in my life. However, I have been taking special classes to keep my dream alive, and I could soon transition to being an assistant in a hospital.

Navigating Workplace Dilemmas: Unraveling the “He Said/She Said/They Said” Conundrum
Linkedln
March 05, 2024

Summary: Let’s explore the complexities of the “He Said/She Said/They Said” mismatched stories at work. I want to shed light on potential consequences and offer strategies to address and prevent such scenarios.

Embracing Diversity: Barbra Streisand’s Insightful AFTA Award Speech
Linkedln
February 29, 2024

Summary: Barbra Streisand, an iconic figure in the entertainment industry, shed light on this crucial topic during her acceptance speech at the SAG-AFTA (American Film and Television Awards). Streisand’s words resonated far beyond the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, emphasizing the transformative impact that diversity can have on society as a whole.

Diversity Training Dilemmas: Unraveling the Controversies
Linkedln
February 28, 2024

Summary: Diversity training has been a cornerstone of organizational development in recent years, aiming to foster inclusive workplace cultures. However, a growing number of companies are now questioning or even discontinuing their diversity training programs. Here are the reasons behind this trend.

The Enduring Echo: Tracing the Progression of Guns in Our Obsessed Culture
Linkedln
February 27, 2024

I am simply a citizen who worries about our culture of divide. No place is safe. Our schools, offices, playgrounds, parades, trains, planes, and buses are ripe for the shots reported daily on the news.

The Role of CISOs in Shaping Cyber Resilience
Linkedln
February 23, 2024

In this episode, we dive deep into how to build an effective Enterprise Cyber Risk Management (ECRM) program and cybersecurity strategy. Additionally, we discuss the importance of people, process, technology, and engagement in cybersecurity, as well as the shift from viewing it as a cost center to an investment center.

Navigating Growth: Where are You on the 7 Stages of Business Development?
Linkedln
February 20, 2024

Summary: The journey from startup to mature organization is an exhilarating and challenging adventure. Many startups aspire to evolve into mature entities, but only a select few successfully navigate the complexities of growth. Let’s explore critical stages that can help your company transition smoothly to become a mature organization.

Unmasking the Illusion: The Pitfalls of Quick Fixes in Executive and Life Coaching
Linkedln
February 15, 2024

Summary: The demand for quick solutions and instant gratification is more prevalent than ever. While the promise of simple answers and rapid results may seem appealing, a closer look reveals a lack of lasting impact in many coaching approaches. Here’s why they often fail to create sustainable, transformative change.

Combating Workplace Challenges: Silence is the Enemy
Linkedln
February 13, 2024

Summary: Let’s explore why silence is the enemy at work. Did you ever wonder why so many competent individuals ignore that silent elephant in the room rather than speak out to be heard? Here’s the route to heightened workplace satisfaction.

The Path to Long-Term Well-being at Work: Exploring the Difference Between Peace and Harmony
Linkedln
February 06, 2024

Summary: In the quest for healthier work settings, the concepts of peace and harmony emerge as crucial pillars. Both ideas advocate for positive change. Let’s examine which offers a better route for long-term well-being at work.

Navigating the Workplace Maze: The Impact of Employee Misalignment on Organizational Vision
Elevating Leadership
February 01, 2024

Now, I know everyone thinks about this from time to time. It feels good to consider either quitting a job or a relationship. Then, many of us take a deep breath, see the good, and keep going.

Leadership Lessons from "The Holdovers": Navigating Relationships in the Face of Adversity
Linkedln
January 16, 2024

Summary: In cinematic storytelling, "The Holdovers" offers a rich tapestry of lessons on leadership and relationships. This movie serves as a compelling case study for understanding the intricacies of leadership amidst adversity and the profound impact relationships can have. Let's explore the dynamics of teamwork, resilience, and the transformative power of authentic connections.

Navigating Leadership in 2024: Trends and Strategies for All Leaders
LinkedIn
January 02, 2024

As we embark on the journey of 2024, leaders and emerging leaders must be proactive in navigating the evolving landscape.

In Pursuit of Excellence: 2024 Is THE Year for Professional and Personal Well-being
LinkedIn
December 28, 2023

The dawn of 2024 invites us all to transcend the ordinary, inspire innovation, and forge new paths. This means we can create positive power that resonates far into the yea

Gutsy: How Women Leaders Make Change
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated; 2nd edition
January 24, 2022

It's GOOD to be GUTSY!

For some of us this is easy, to speak out, take risks, stand at the leading edge of change. For most of us, we need a nudge. So, this is a great book to get you started on your path to being GUTSY!

You'll learn to Observe and Understand behaviors that have stood in the way of true collaboration, and Transform into the world of outstanding partnership. From exploring models of being GUTSY, to what it means to have a pink or blue blanket, this entertaining book will give you the puzzle pieces to build a GUTSY You!

Invisible Stress (It's NOT What YOU Think!): Identify and Change the Patterns and Behaviors Controlling Your Life
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
October 06, 2021

Practice SAFE STRESS . . . It’s Good for YOU

Survival Guide to identify your INVISIBLE STRESS, Live in the SAFE STRESS ZONE, and ENRICH YOUR LIFE

• Discuss the fourth level, invisible stress, with information not available till now.
• Gain cutting-edge methods to tackle root causes of overwhelm and self-doubt.
• Acquire powerful yet simple ways to make stress work for you.
• Gather tips to build confidence and strengthen resilience during tough times.
• Learn how to adopt healthy daily behaviors to stay in the safe stress zone.
• Explore coping mechanisms to manage today’s accelerated rate of change.
• Master new leadership skills for less stress and a more harmonious life.

Leadership Quotes: Bumper Stickers for the Brain
‎ Creative Energy Options, Incorporated; 1st edition
November 25, 2014

Quotes are really there to get you to think in new ways. These are the ones that seemed to jump from the pages and pages of quotes that I was looking at for this book. Take one or two and post them near your computer or on your mirror in the bathroom. We all need these “bumper stickers” to remind us about what really matters on those days we tend to forget who we are and why we are really here. Who knows, some day one of your quotes may be in another book to help folks you will never even meet. Keep believing in the goodness of the women and men and all the children of the world and together we really can make a difference. As James Baldwin says, children will imitate their elders. Let’s give them the positives of life to imitate.

Unique: How Story Sparks Diversity, Inclusion, and Engagement
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 12, 2014

WE ARE ALL UNIQUE AND CONNECTED Everyone has a back story. Everyone. Most of us put on a mask or hide behind a shield and keep our stories hidden. Not anymore. This book helps you find your story, your place as a leader. “Story is the most powerful tool in a leader’s arsenal,” says Harvard Professor Howard Gardner. Stories teach us about courage, creativity, compassion, and collaboration. Once you learn to tell your story you develop a personal brand that puts you head and shoulders above your peers. Become the best you can be with these important business tools: SANKOFA MAPPING to see behaviors that are handed from generation to generation The OUT Technique so you can Observe, Understand and Transform behavior patterns PEP Talks to discuss difficult subjects and get great results.

Don't Bring It to Work
Jossey-Bass; 1st edition
February 05, 2009

How can you get to the bottom of workplace behaviors that simply don't work for you or your organization?

Don't Bring It to Work explores what happens when patterns originally created to cope with family conflicts are unleashed in the workplace.?This groundbreaking book draws on the success of Sylvia Lafair's PatternAware program Total Leadership Connections. Throughout the book she shows how to break the cycle of pattern repetition and offers the tools that can turn unhealthy family baggage into creative energy that will foster better workplace associations and career success.

Lafair identifies the thirteen most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office: Super Achiever, Rebel, Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer, Clown, Martyr, Splitter, Procrastinator, Drama Queen or King, Pleaser, Denier, and Avoider. To help overcome destructive behavior problems, she maps out the three main steps for becoming aware of patterns and finding the way OUT:

Observe your behavior to discern underlying patterns
Understand and probe deeper to discover the origins of these patterns
Transform your behavior by taking action to change
The book includes a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical, workbook-style exercises that clearly show how anyone can get beyond old, outmoded attempts at conflict resolution and empower themselves to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives.

No Problems Here!
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022

There is a great yet sad scene in the film “Titanic” where the captain of the biggest, most modern ship of the era suggests that a slight turn near an iceberg is all that is needed… until crunch! This is just like those at work who nod their heads in disbelief and say, “There were no signs that anything was wrong,” (Enron anyone?) except the signs are always there. This paper will help you know what to say to a denier or make you look at yourself in the mirror to see if this is one of your own patterns and what to do about it. This is a key behavior pattern that can destroy unless it is transformed.

Gotcha!
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022

Can you remember the first time you were a participant in the Gotcha’ Game? For most of us, it was when we were kids either with our siblings or at school. Many of us became masters at this type of one-up-man-ship activity. Problem is that at work, it lowers productivity and destroys trust. Learn how you can be a leader in stopping this dreaded game before it becomes toxic. Leaders who know what to look for can stop GOTCHA in its tracks, build trust, and foster collaboration that leads to loyalty and team accountability. More effective communication leads to less office politics.

7 Ways to Successful Group Dynamics
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022

The days of the solo hero or heroine are over. If you really sit and think about it, we really are all connected and no one wins unless we all do. What a great motto for a work team who wants to be the best in the company. This paper gives you the 7 core ways that teams need to cooperate, learn to listen to each other, and respond with accountability. These dynamics have been successful in team building activities around the world. After all, the essence of every team is a group of individuals who would prefer to succeed and that means doing it together.

How To Speak Genderly
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022

Did you ever wonder what happens to the words that come out of your mouth and go into someone else’s ears? How many times have you said “that’s not what I meant to say?” Or how many times have you said “What are you talking about?” Men and women react differently to stimulus words and the more you can use the right words at the right time the more your leadership skills will soar. This sets you in the right direction for healthy and meaningful conversations. This stops office politics in its tracks.

Practice Safe Stress . . . For Your Health
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022

What happens to you when things are not going your way? Do you hide under the covers and become a zombie? Or do you hit the “yell button” and let the whole world know you do not like what is happening? Read this and learn to move from either “Zombieville” or “Freakoutville” to the smooth highway of Safe Stress. For leadership development and executive coaching, this gives you the skinny on how to handle your emotions at work and then bring what you learn home. You will be better off for it.

Gutsy Success Guidebook
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
January 24, 2022

The Gutsy Success Guidebook is the companion Workbook to the Award Winning GUTSY

Pattern Aware Success Guide: Companion to Don't Bring It To Work
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
January 24, 2022

This is a daily guide that will help you increase your self-awareness and ability to be a leading force in your workplace. Use it as a daily roadmap to find the way OUT of what no longer supports your life. It will help you to strengthen your capacity to Observe, Understand and Transform patterns that you no longer need nor want.

The 21st Century GUTSY Heroine's Journey
Creative Energy Options Publishing; 1st edition
November 12, 2014

Each person’s journey is both unique and similar.

Follow our Heroines’ stories in this book to help you as you travel the
uncharted territory of finding what really matters in your life, to creating all the beauty and joy imaginable.

You will have to face challenges and dangers. Know that a mentor will be there to guide you.

And when you return you will have a new freedom that is contagious. Once you are back you can use your special knowledge to help others.

When the call to adventure comes, answer it. Of course, you will have doubts. Answer anyway.

So, Ms. Heroine…..
...Keep Going and Keep Growing

Five Leadership Development Lessons: Taking the OUCH from Office Politics
Creative Energy Options Publishing; 1st edition
November 08, 2014

Break the Cycle of repeating the same old ways of communicating and learn to use the power of dialogue to prevent conflicts and produce cooperation.
Talking together is the foundation of working together. In this book you learn the behavioral ground rules for getting past simple “yes” and “no” answers to find new and powerfully creative solutions to problems.

Explore the FIVE vital lessons for leaders to take the OUCH from frustrating conversations:
1. Telling the truth is NOT spilling your guts
2. Work is NOT a rehab facility
3. Dialogue is NOT just emotion and repetition
4. Outcomes are best if you stay open NOT attached
5. You win when you see everything as connected NOT separate

Leave outdated ways to communicate and resolve conflict in the recycle bin. Dialogue defuses defensiveness and creates camaraderie filled with practical wisdom.

Rebuilding Trust: The Warriors’ Path to Championship Greatness after the “Green-Poole Incident”
Thinkers360
May 25, 2023

Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I recently saw a podcast where Warrior Draymond Green discussed their frustrating end-of-the-season loss.

He addresses the punch heard loud and clear.The one that somehow got onto social media where he punched teammate Jordan Poole.

The Podcast with Stephen A. Smith is here.

OUCH!

All teams are the same, whatever their product or service.

That is to say; Green wished the conflict had been handled sooner. The punch was in October 2022, and the Warriors sadly ended their season in May 2023.

When Green talked about his role in the confrontation, making me think about my company.

To clarify, I have the same issue. Only it was with words, not fists.

Thus, whether my company finally decides on remote, hybrid, or being in the office full-time is less of an issue than how employees handle daily upsets and conflicts.

For example, let me tell you about Jill.

She has all the proper credentials. It does not get any better than Harvard MBA, so they say.

Super-achievers get stuck with the need to be right rather than happy.

However, Jill’s trap is to be stuck in that category of life titled “need to win.” And her “winning way” is to defend, explain, and justify her position rather than ask questions and collaborate.

As a senior VP, Jill is a whiz at marketing and has contributed significantly to our organization. Yet she is disliked. The word despise comes up on occasion.

Furthermore, she is attractive (is that a sexist thing to say), well-educated (as noted, a Harvard grad), and intelligent (glad this is gender-neutral).

However, when she disagrees, it becomes ugly and frustrating.

Therefore, I cannot get her to see her role in conflicts. The other person is always “that A-hole.”

Everyone wants to be a positive role model to work colleagues.

I want you to know she never curses, and yet, everyone at some point (including me) ends up in the A-hole category.

I once played ignorant and asked her exactly what the A in A-hole stands for, to hear her say the word “ass.”

Consequently, she smiled, shrugged, and said I should figure it out myself.

I can’t figure out the next steps. Her behavior around conflict is not working.

What tools and tips do you have to help me help her?

And could you also have some golden rules for the Warriors for next season? They are my favorite team.

Go Dubs!

Signed,

Needs Cooperation

Leadership programs must include self-awareness training.

Dear Needs Cooperation,

Whether it is sales, marketing, IT, or administrative support, the common denominator is how people get along to get the work done. Recent studies should keep you even more awake at night than you are.

I don’t want to upset you; I want you to know the high cost of unresolved conflict.

These studies indicate that regardless of the economy being up or down, “people stuff” sets companies apart.

1. Ninety-three percent of workers report being “negatively affected by an inability to deal with conflict on the job.”
2. Well over half, sixty-nine percent, avoid confronting co-workers on accountability issues.
3. Human resource professionals report having to intervene thrice weekly in conflict.
4. Over thirty percent of retail, food, and leisure employees experience hostility at work every day.
5. Senior executives and business owners spend more than half their time resolving staff personality conflicts, double the time spent in the 1990s.
6. Healthcare expenditures are fifty percent higher for workers who report high-stress levels, and conflict-ridden work environments create stress.

Are you feeling like you are carrying a significant burden on your back? Well, guess what?

The impact of conflict at work can be a deal breaker for most organizations.

Conflict, instead of collaboration, is expensive and takes the fun out of any creative work. Creativity could and should be done in a fast and furious frenzy of creative energy.

Collaboration is the goal. Now, how to get there.

Take a deep breath and keep reading—first, more bad news.

To get a complete sense of the financial hemorrhaging at most companies, you must factor in other big-ticket items such as lawsuits and the cost of employee turnover (estimated at 30 percent to 150 percent of an employee’s salary).

Consequently, an untold loss due to a distracted and stressed workforce shows reduced productivity and passive-aggressive absenteeism.

Leadership training for everyone brings passive-aggressive behavior to the surface.

Ug, passive-aggressive absenteeism?

That is when someone calls in sick (not!), so they don’t have to face someone (maybe Jill?). Or they call in sick to prove the work cannot get done without them.

Hang in there; we are almost done with the statistics.

In addition, here is one more study by the American Management Association. Employees spend about 25 percent of their time, or two hours daily, in unproductive workplace disputes with colleagues.

Leadership training programs that include emotional intelligence training are robust.

Firstly, here are some new ideas about conflict at work.

You ask, “Why do tensions get dialed up at work?”

Moreover, that is a good beginning question.

Conflict runs rampant in the workplace because of our natural and universal tendency to bring our families to work.

“Yikes,” you say, “that is impossible. I dropped the kids at school; my wife works on the other side of town. So, what are you talking about?”

Workplace flare-ups go deep; if we look, we can track them back to patterned behavior we learned as kids in our original organization, the family.

Most importantly, we bring these patterns into our present work organizations.

Gravity and family patterns are similar once you understand how they work.

Think about gravity. We must learn to appreciate that it keeps our feet down on the planet. And thanks to gravity, if a ball is thrown high in the air, it will, no matter what we intend, it will fall to earth, and if we happen to be standing in its trajectory, it will bop us on the head.

Here is what we know about workplace conflict: professional relationships can be filled with emotional tensions, just like relationships at home.

Above all, we strive to be wise, philosophical, and mature professionally. Much of the time, we are.

And then, that guy over there sets your teeth on edge because it reminds you of how your older brother used to mock you.

Perhaps someone made a mess in the community kitchen.

Disrespecting a boss is often similar to disrespecting a parent or caretaker.

Suddenly you are mad, frustrated, upset, and unsure why. You get angry when you find yourself cleaning up again, as you always used to when your mother never cleaned up after dinner.

This reality is played out repeatedly everywhere on the planet; this is the underbelly of what much of the workplace statistics concerning conflict are ultimately about.

Okay, okay, you say, I got it. The big question is what I do about it.

Team dialogue is far different from proving who is right or wrong.

In any case, do something to begin the dialogue with your team.

In today’s fast-paced and complex world, success in the workplace is often attributed to the ability to think critically, solve problems, and work effectively as a team.

While individual skills are crucial, harnessing the power of systems thinking can elevate teams to new heights.

In short, systems thinking is a holistic approach that allows individuals to understand the interconnections and dynamics of complex systems.

Identifying Root Causes is the first order of business.

Systems thinking encourages team members to look beyond surface-level issues and identify the underlying causes of problems.

Rather than placing blame on individuals, a systems-oriented team would explore how various elements within the system contribute to the problem.

This approach promotes a collaborative environment where teams work together to address the root causes, leading to long-lasting solutions.

For example: In a marketing team, instead of blaming a particular employee for a failed campaign, a systems-thinking approach would involve analyzing the marketing strategy, target audience, competitive landscape, and internal processes to identify the root causes of the campaign’s failure.

Understanding Interdependencies is a powerful way to consider conflicts.

Ultimately, systems thinking emphasizes understanding interdependencies within a system.

Team members who grasp the interconnected nature of their work can identify how their actions and decisions affect others, leading to improved coordination and collaboration.

Recognizing these interdependencies allows teams to align their efforts, minimize conflicts, and optimize overall performance.

In other words, in software development, a systems-thinking team understands that changes made by one developer can have a ripple effect throughout the entire codebase.

They prioritize communication and consider the impact of their work on other team members, ensuring smooth integration and minimizing conflicts during the development process.

Embracing Feedback Loops will move individuals and teams from conflict to collaboration.

Similarly, systems thinking encourages teams to view feedback as an essential learning process.

By recognizing the feedback loops within a system, teams can continuously improve their performance.

They actively seek customer, colleague, and stakeholder feedback and use it to refine their strategies and adapt to changing circumstances.

Look at it this way. A customer support team that embraces systems thinking regularly collects customer feedback, analyzes patterns and trends, and shares this information with product development and marketing teams.

Indeed, by leveraging these feedback loops, the team can identify opportunities for improvement, enhance customer satisfaction, and drive innovation.

Systems thinking encourages team members to step back and look at the big picture.

Instead of focusing solely on their tasks, they consider the broader context and align their actions with the team’s objectives. This holistic perspective fosters collaboration, improves decision-making, and enhances the team’s ability to achieve its goals.

Thus, systems thinking in a project management team allows members to consider various factors, such as budget constraints, resource availability, and stakeholder expectations.

By understanding the interplay between these elements, the team can develop realistic project plans, allocate resources effectively, and deliver successful outcomes.

Cultivate an environment where creativity and innovation can thrive using systems thinking.

Hence, teams can identify opportunities for improvement, innovation, and disruption by understanding the complex interactions within a system. This mindset encourages individuals to challenge the status quo, think outside the box, and propose novel solutions to existing problems.

Example: A design team that applies systems thinking actively explores how their products or services interact with users, the environment, and other stakeholders. By understanding the broader system, they can identify innovative features, address usability issues, and create products that deliver a superior user experience.

Systems such as family, work, or community give a better route to success.

In conclusion: Combining family systems and generic systems thinking is a powerful approach that enables teams to see the bigger picture, understand complex interdependencies, and tackle challenges collaboratively.

You can read more about systems thinking in my book, “Don’t Bring It To Work” (especially pages 183-185.)

By applying systems thinking principles, teams can identify root causes, adapt to change, and optimize performance.

I did not want to focus too much on the Green- Poole punch. Only those who were there can address the situation appropriately. I only want to say that Draymond Green was accountable for his part in the altercation on the Podcast.

And Jordan Poole has also spoken out respectfully.

We are all connected, and no one wins unless we all should be the 21st center mantra.

What happens when conflict rears its head and makes us behave uncomfortably? It is a catalyst to help all of us think in broader terms.

Systems thinking is what the world needs now to get us from the cycles of violence and discrimination worldwide.

Let’s keep going and growing.

Here’s to your success,

Sylvia Lafair

PS. Now is the time to look conflict in the face. Go to www.ceoptions.com and sign up for a free copy of chapter one of the Amazon best seller “Invisible Stress: It’s NOT What YOU Think.”

Stress has many faces. Learn what triggers your anger and how to move from mad to glad.