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Sylvia Lafair, PhD

CEO at Creative Energy Options Inc

Petaluma, California, United States

WHAT I DO: I provide executives and entrepreneurs coaching and programs that build strong interpersonal communication skills, increase team effectiveness and achieve rapid growth.

WHO I WORK WITH: I have partnered with over 5000+ small, medium and large organizations in healthcare, government and technology who value people along with profits and create life learning cultures including Novartis, Microsoft, Astra Zeneca, Pfizer, and Capgemini.

WHAT MAKES US DIFFERENT: By working globally for over 30 years we have developed a unique method, a GPS tracking system, that offers guidelines to uncover the invisible communication patterns that create conflict and derail relationships. Our coaching and programs are award winners that limit absenteeism, avoid legal hassles, and help individuals and teams flourish.

WHAT OTHERS SAY: "Creative Energy Options Inc.continues to deliver exponential value to me professionally and personally. I created a new strategic revenue stream. My new leadership patterns are getting recognition and I was recently promoted. I am more clear, direct, concise and powerful. Your work is solid gold." - Andy Heppelle, Accelerated Solutions Environment (Principal, Americas West) Capgemini

"Dr. Lafair has brilliantly synthesized the complexities of today’s workplace and reworked them into accessible, singular action items that add immediate value to your organization. Excellent!" - Marshall Goldsmith, Top Ten Global Business Thinker

HOW IT WORKS: We first meet via phone for a 30- minute strategy session. You will then receive a proposal, more like a menu of options. From there we talk again and custom design exactly what will get you to your goals.

READY TO TALK: Reach out to me directly here on LinkedIn. You can also e-mail me at sylvia@ceoptions.com

Visit online at www.ceoptions.com or call me directly at 570.233.1042

Available For: Authoring, Consulting
Travels From: California

Sylvia Lafair, PhD Points
Academic 0
Author 655
Influencer 97
Speaker 0
Entrepreneur 0
Total 752

Points based upon Thinkers360 patent-pending algorithm.

Thought Leader Profile

Portfolio Mix

Company Information

Company Type: Service Provider
Business Unit: Leadership Development / HR
Theatre: North America
Minimum Project Size: N/A
Average Hourly Rate: N/A
Number of Employees: 11-50
Company Founded Date: 1985
Media Experience: 30+
Last Media Interview: 07/14/2022

Areas of Expertise

Business Strategy
Change Management 39.03
Coaching 41.67
Creativity 49.86
Culture 30.25
Diversity and Inclusion 38.73
Future of Work 30.02
Health and Safety 30.53
Health and Wellness 37
HR 30.04
Leadership 38.77
Management 55.19
Mental Health 31.10
Sustainability

Industry Experience

Higher Education & Research
Professional Services

Publications

226 Article/Blogs
Celebrate with Me: Two Leadership Awards in One Week
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February 03, 2025
Summary: Dr. Sylvia Lafair stands out in the field of leadership development due to her innovative approach. She intertwines psychology and systems thinking with organizational behavior. This brings a unique perspective that has transformed how leaders and teams operate. Dear Dr Sylvia, I am one of

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Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Management

Celebrate with Me: Two Leadership Awards in One Week
Ceoptions
February 02, 2025
Dr. Sylvia Lafair stands out in the field of leadership development due to her innovative approach. She intertwines psychology and systems thinking with organizational behavior. This brings a unique perspective that has transformed how leaders and teams operate.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Legacy Leadership : What Business Leaders Can Teach Their Grandchildren
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January 30, 2025
Summary: As a leader, you’ve spent a lifetime navigating challenges, making tough decisions, and shaping organizations. But beyond business success, your true legacy lies in the lessons you leave behind. While profits and accolades may fade, the wisdom you pass down to your grandchildren will endu

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Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Management

How Patterns of Behavior Differ from Habits: What You Need to Know
Ceoptions
January 28, 2025
Understanding the distinction between behavior patterns and habits is essential when examining personal growth and professional success. Although we often use these terms interchangeably, they represent two distinct concepts that impact how we navigate relationships, make decisions, and respond to challenges. Let’s delve into how patterns of behavior and habits differ and why recognizing this difference matters.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Stress Goes for a Touchdown
Ceoptions
January 23, 2025
As Super Bowl LIX nears, the NFL’s best will take the field, showcasing skill, strategy, and sportsmanship. The game will offer leadership lessons far beyond touchdowns, teaching us that character and excellent behavior often define true winners.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

How to Stop Stress: Step From Self-doubt to Self -aware and finally to Self-confident
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January 20, 2025
Summary: Stress is a multifaceted and annoying creature. One of the deepest holes to dig out of is self-doubt. Yes, it takes a willingness to look inside yourself for the why and the where that feeling of not being good enough began. Here are some thoughts on taming your own stress monster. Dear Dr.

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Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Management

From Glimmer to Glow: How the path to flow state transforms your life
Ceoptions
January 19, 2025
I know this sounds delusional.

However, I want to change my career. I want to make the shift now.

Let me explain.

I am a lawyer and work in a prestigeous law firm. Hiwever, the dream to be a lawyer was my father’s desire for me.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

How Fires, Floods, and Wars Impact “Safe Zones”
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January 16, 2025
The Illusions of Safety: How Fires, Floods, and Wars Impact the Daily Lives of Those in “Safe Zones” Summary: No one is truly untouched in a world increasingly defined by its challenges—climate change, wildfires, droughts, and conflicts. While some regions experience these crises first

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Facing Irrevocable Change and Navigating Tough Times
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January 13, 2025
Summary: Change, of course, is an inevitable part of life, but some changes hit us harder than others. These are the seismic shifts—the ones that feel irrevocable, reshaping the foundation of our world. Whether it’s losing a loved one, a significant career upheaval, or moments being caught in th

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Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Management

Leadership Lessons from the Film “Inside Out Two”: What Happens When Old Memories Cause Stress
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January 09, 2025
Summary: Leadership often feels like a balancing act between managing the present and navigating the baggage of the past. For many leaders, old memories triggered by stressful situations can derail focus, cloud decision-making, and create internal turmoil. Don’t stay in adolescent reactions. H

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

How to Lose 7 Pounds of Emotional Stress in 7 Days
Ceoptions
January 07, 2025
Ah, stress. It’s like that unexpected guest who shows up, plants themselves on your couch, and refuses to leave until you figure out what they’re really there for. But here’s the kicker: what if stress wasn’t the villain we always make it out to be? What if we started this shiny new year by looking at stress in a totally new way?

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

How to Lose 7 Pounds of Emotional Stress in 7 Days
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January 06, 2025
Summary: Ah, stress. It’s like that unexpected guest who shows up, plants themselves on your couch, and refuses to leave until you figure out what they’re really there for. But here’s the kicker: what if stress wasn’t the villain we always make it out to be? What if we started this shiny new

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Become a PAL (Pattern Aware Leader) in 2025: How to Release Outdated Patterns and Lead Like Never Before!
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January 02, 2025
Summary: Ready to kick off the new year by becoming the leader you were always meant to be? One who doesn’t just manage the team—but inspires, empowers, and creates a culture that thrives? It’s time to step into your new role as a PAL—a Pattern Aware Leader! This isn’t just about leading w

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Become a PAL (Pattern Aware Leader) in 2025: How to Release Outdated Patterns and Lead Like Never Before!
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January 02, 2025
Summary: Ready to kick off the new year by becoming the leader you were always meant to be? One who doesn’t just manage the team—but inspires, empowers, and creates a culture that thrives? It’s time to step into your new role as a PAL—a Pattern Aware Leader! This isn’t just about leading w

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Become a PAL (Pattern Aware Leader) in 2025: How to Release Outdated Patterns and Lead Like Never Before!
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January 02, 2025
Summary: Ready to kick off the new year by becoming the leader you were always meant to be? One who doesn’t just manage the team—but inspires, empowers, and creates a culture that thrives? It’s time to step into your new role as a PAL—a Pattern Aware Leader! This isn’t just about leading w

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

How to Be Your Best Self in 2025: Don’t Waste Your New Year Resolutions
Ceoptions
December 30, 2024
I vow to end this year without making any New Year’s Resolutions.

Well, sort of!

Like many others, I still need to exercise more and lose those impossible extra ten pounds.

I also must be kinder to my direct reports, especially Dan who drive me bonkers.

I can keep the goodwill going until the middle of January. That is when research says it is so easy to go back to old ways.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

A Holiday Reflection: Finding Hope in the Season’s Honest Truths
Ceoptions
December 26, 2024
I keep drinking cocoa with peppermint. It was always a special treat when I was a youngster, and it made me feel happy.

However, there are days during this season that leave me feeling confused.

In fact, this happens every year, and then I take a deep breath and return to being happy.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The Importance of Presence Over Presents
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December 24, 2024
Summary: It’s easy to equate showing love and appreciation with giving physical gifts. Presents can be thoughtful and meaningful. However, something far more valuable cannot be wrapped or tied with a bow: your presence. Here are some things to think about. Dear Dr. Sylvia, When all the “oooh

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

The Importance of Presence Over Presents
Ceoptions
December 23, 2024
When all the “oooh’s and ahhha’s” after unwrapping the special gifts came to an end, I felt a draft of cold air in a very warm and toasty room.

At first, I could not figure out why these chilly, empty moments were occurring. Then, I suddenly realized we were focusing on only two things. In that way, another part of giving and getting was lost in translation.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

From Glimmer to Glow: How the path to flow state transforms your life
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December 18, 2024
Dear Dr. Sylvia, I know this sounds delusional. However, I want to change my career. I want to make the shift now. Let me explain. I am a lawyer and work in a prestigeous law firm. Hiwever, the dream to be a lawyer was my father’s desire for me. I was such a “good child”…
The

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

From One-Upper to Creative Collaborator
Ceoptions
December 12, 2024
I work with the most annoying super achiever.

That is to say, she always has a better response, a more thoughtful comment, and a “great” way to handle conflict (even though she creates much of the chaos at work).

In addition, my team and I need help helping her learn a better way of responding or find another place to work.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

3 Ways To Stop Destructive Patterns From Ruining Your Career
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December 05, 2024
Avoid falling into the same rabbit holes of doubt Dear Dr. Sylvia, Why, oh why is it so hard to change destructive patterns? From my time in the Total Leadership Connections program, I know that I can fall into the same rabbit hole again and again. For me, It’s the Persecutor/Bully Role. When

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Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Management

Pouring from an Empty Pitcher : Finding Strength under Stress
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December 02, 2024
I want to explore what giving means when you have nothing left. Let’s celebrate and honor those who pour water from an empty pitcher. I include actionable tips and insights for individuals and teams, from recognizing personal boundaries to creating a culture of support and celebration. The Met

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Gratitude is the Heart of Thanksgiving: Wishing You a Day Filled with Joy
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November 27, 2024
Dear All, As the season of giving thanks arrives, it’s a beautiful reminder to pause, reflect, and cherish the moments that make life truly meaningful. Thanksgiving is more than just a feast or a holiday tradition. It’s an opportunity to connect deeply—with ourselves, our loved ones, and the w

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Want Less Stress, and Feel “SO ZEN”: How to Keep The Stress Hormone Cortisol in Check
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November 25, 2024
Summary: Stress is a natural part of life, and our bodies are designed to handle it, at least in short bursts. At the center of this response lies cortisol, the primary hormone responsible for regulating stress. However, in today’s world of relentless deadlines, 24/7 connectivity, and mounting pre

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Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Management

38 Author Newsletters
How to break free from Secondhand Stress: What It Is and Where It Comes From
Ceoptions
December 16, 2024
Everyone has secondhand stress these days. It’s not that different than getting sick from someone smoking near you.

I can be happy and positive, and then someone will enter the meeting with a frown and a bag full of negatives, and suddenly, my smile leaves, and I can feel that annoying knot in the pit of my stomach.

For instance, I know that these days, most of us feel a lot of tension and worry about how to get work done and complete what needs to be handled at home.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The Essence of Powerful Storytelling
Ceoptions
December 10, 2024
Storytelling is one of the most effective ways to communicate ideas, influence perspectives, and inspire action. However, it can also offend or alienate your audience when not handled with care.

The secret to powerful storytelling lies in the balance between conveying your message and maintaining sensitivity.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Gratitude is the Heart of Thanksgiving: Wishing You a Day Filled with Joy
Ceoptions
November 28, 2024
Dear All,

As the season of giving thanks arrives, it’s a beautiful reminder to pause, reflect, and cherish the moments that make life truly meaningful.

Thanksgiving is more than just a feast or a holiday tradition. It’s an opportunity to connect deeply—with ourselves, our loved ones, and the world around us.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Emotional Power: When Leaders Dare to Care
Ceoptions
October 01, 2024
As many seasoned leaders begin to step down from their roles, their wealth of knowledge and expertise offers valuable lessons for future leaders. Here, we consider both outdated, ingrained patterns and ones to retain.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Leadership Development and Whose Fault Is It Anyway? Are YOU a YABBUT or NOT?
Ceoptions
September 29, 2024
There are many books about how to survive a toxic workplace. The big question is: Who makes the work setting toxic? Most of the books point the finger of blame at the boss or supervisor. Many books and sites about office politics are about what he, she, or they did that was insulting and negative.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

What to Look for in Executives as Role Models So Work Cultures Can Thrive
Ceoptions
September 16, 2024
What separates an ordinary executive from one who serves as an exceptional role model? Whether you’re a business leader, an emerging professional, or part of a hiring committee, selecting a suitable executive role model is crucial for fostering a positive organizational culture. Here’s what matters.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Turning Drama into Harmony: How the Drama King/Queen Can Transform a Negative Relationship
Ceoptions
August 15, 2024
In every social circle, workplace, or family, there often exists a “drama king” or “drama queen”—those individuals who seem to attract or even thrive on conflict and tension. While their behavior can be frustrating and exhausting for those around them, there’s a silver lining: with the right approach, drama kings and queens can channel their energy into creating harmonious, positive relationships. Learn how to make that transformation and how these individuals can use their dramatic flair for the better.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The In-Between Generation: Essential Tools for 18- 24 Year Olds Transitioning into Adult Life
Ceoptions
July 17, 2024
Summary: The journey from adolescence to adulthood is a challenging and transformative period for individuals aged 18 to 24, often referred to as the “In-Between Generation.” During this stage, young adults face numerous transitions and responsibilities for which they might not be fully prepared.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Culture Clash to Culture Cash: How Workplace Harmony Creates Profit
Ceoptions
July 09, 2024
We all talk about workplace culture as a critical determinant of success. Yet, many organizations continue to struggle with internal culture clashes that hinder productivity and growth. Transforming these clashes into a harmonious and profitable workplace isn’t just a utopian ideal; it’s a tangible goal that can drive significant financial and operational benefits. Let’s explore the journey from culture clash to culture cash.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

“Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success” delves into the intricate relationship between family dynamics and workplace behavior
Ceoptions
June 18, 2024
Summary: It’s eye-opening to explore how unresolved family issues and patterns often resurface in professional settings. This affects relationships, productivity, and overall success. Here, you get ideas on how to handle your stress level better both at work and at home.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Fathers, Sons and The Power of Acknowledgement
Ceoptions
June 13, 2024
Summary: This is in honor of Father’s Day. It explores how men help boys grow to be the best they can be. It’s never too late to use the power of acknowledgment. Then, father-son relationships become a solid base for health and well-being.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The Immutable Leader: Understanding the Impact on Organizational Dynamics
Ceoptions
June 11, 2024
Summary: Some leaders firmly believe that individuals do not fundamentally change. This belief can profoundly impact an organization’s culture, employee morale, and productivity. Let’s explore the characteristics of such a leader and their potential effects on their organization.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Fatal Flaws Are Patterns That Keep Us Stuck in Childhood Muck
Ceoptions
June 04, 2024
Childhood is a critical period of development where individuals learn and internalize behaviors, beliefs, and coping mechanisms. These early experiences significantly shape our adult personalities. This includes the fatal flaws that may hinder our success and happiness. A fatal flaw is a character defect that leads to significant challenges or failures in life. Understanding how these fatal flaws are connected to behavior patterns learned in childhood can provide valuable insights into personal growth and self-improvement.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The Dichotomy of Power: How Emotionally Powerless Leaders Seek External Dominance
Ceoptions
May 30, 2024
Leaders are often seen as paragons of strength and confidence. Yet beneath this façade, many grapple with feelings of powerlessness. This emotional turmoil can significantly impact their leadership style, prompting a compensatory quest for external power. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for fostering healthier leadership and organizational cultures.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Leadership Training: The Enduring Relevance of Galileo’s Struggle with Truth
Ceoptions
May 28, 2024
The world premiere of “Galileo: A Rock Musical” recently opened at The Berkeley Repertory Theater. This unique production, like Bertolt Brecht’s play ‘Galileo,'(1939), is a profound and compelling dramatization of the life of the famous Italian astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei. Both critically explore the conflicts between science and religious dogma, ethics, and societal responsibilities. The new musical brings a fresh perspective to these themes. Especially for leaders and emerging leaders, it offers a contemporary take on the enduring struggle for power versus truth

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Leadership Education: Unveiling Systemic Thinking Through Unlikely Connections
Ceoptions
May 13, 2024
Navigating the interconnected web of systems requires more than just surface-level observation. It demands a holistic perspective that requires brave leadership. No more yes/no, good/bad. Let’s use The Ohio University Marching Band and a child eating cereal to unveil the essence of systemic thinking.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Navigating the Motherly Role: How it Translates in the Workplace
Ceoptions
May 07, 2024
Summary: The role of a mother holds a place of paramount importance. First, there is nurturing and guiding in the family. Then there are significant manifestations in the workplace. Here we unravel the myriad ways in which the essence of motherhood permeates professional spheres.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Leveraging Systems Theory to Resolve Workplace Conflicts
Ceoptions
May 02, 2024
Summary: We all know that conflicts are inevitable. Whether they arise from differences in opinion, conflicting goals, or misunderstandings, these disputes can impede productivity and damage working relationships. However, by adopting a systems theory approach, organizations can navigate these challenges more effectively. This fosters collaboration and harmony among team members.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Breaking Through Negativity: How Leaders Can Spark Positive Change in the Workplace
Ceoptions
April 30, 2024
Whether it’s bad news or the challenges of everyday life, negativity can seep into our minds and workplaces. This impacts morale, productivity, and overall well-being. However, amidst the darkness, there are beacons of light. Leaders who possess the vision, empathy, and determination to foster positivity drive change. Be a beacon!

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Pay Attention to What Makes YOU Happy
Ceoptions
April 23, 2024
During these times where there is so much stress and negativity, it’s hard to stay positive.

Here is a blog I did in 2016 when I had a magical time in Rome after a business offsite.

Being at The Vatican and standing in delight in the Sistine Chapel was super powerful.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Nurturing Personal and Organizational Health: A Systems Thinking Approach to Dealing with a “Bully Boss”
Ceoptions
April 11, 2024
In today’s workplace, the behavior of senior leaders plays a pivotal role in shaping organizational culture and employee well-being. Challenges often arise when dealing with a “bully boss,” whose strong-willed nature can create a toxic environment. Adopting a systems thinking approach, which emphasizes understanding the interconnectedness of various elements within a system, along with causal links, offers a strategic framework to address the issue effectively.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Unraveling Glimmers to Greatness: Navigating Systems Theory in Modern Organizations
Linkedln
March 26, 2024
Summary: One theory stands out as a guiding light to illuminate the leader’s path: Systems Theory. Let’s explore its definition, fundamental principles, and application in understanding the interconnectedness and interdependence within organizations. Additionally, we’ll spotlight some pioneering companies that have successfully integrated Systems Theory into their frameworks, propelling them toward greatness.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Setting the Stage for GLIMMERS to GREATNESS: Illuminating the Leader’s Path
Linkedln
March 21, 2024
Summary: Leadership stands as the cornerstone of progress, innovation, and transformation. The journey from glimmers of potential to the heights of greatness is one that countless leaders embark upon, each with unique challenges, triumphs, and lessons learned along the way. In this dynamic environment, where change is constant, and complexities abound, the need for effective leadership has never been more pronounced.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The Curious Leader: Unveiling the Path to Success
Ceoptions
March 14, 2024
Summary: Two words open a world of exploration for all leaders and emerging leaders. Imagine only two words for more new ideas, products, and services. Join me as we open new paths to next-level success.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The Transformative Power of a GLIMMER: Unleashing Leadership Potential
Linkedln
March 07, 2024
Medical school would be too much of a burden on me and my family at this point in my life. However, I have been taking special classes to keep my dream alive, and I could soon transition to being an assistant in a hospital.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

5 Books
Gutsy: How Women Leaders Make Change
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated; 2nd edition
January 24, 2022
It's GOOD to be GUTSY!

For some of us this is easy, to speak out, take risks, stand at the leading edge of change. For most of us, we need a nudge. So, this is a great book to get you started on your path to being GUTSY!

You'll learn to Observe and Understand behaviors that have stood in the way of true collaboration, and Transform into the world of outstanding partnership. From exploring models of being GUTSY, to what it means to have a pink or blue blanket, this entertaining book will give you the puzzle pieces to build a GUTSY You!

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Change Management

Invisible Stress (It's NOT What YOU Think!): Identify and Change the Patterns and Behaviors Controlling Your Life
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
October 06, 2021
Practice SAFE STRESS . . . It’s Good for YOU

Survival Guide to identify your INVISIBLE STRESS, Live in the SAFE STRESS ZONE, and ENRICH YOUR LIFE

• Discuss the fourth level, invisible stress, with information not available till now.
• Gain cutting-edge methods to tackle root causes of overwhelm and self-doubt.
• Acquire powerful yet simple ways to make stress work for you.
• Gather tips to build confidence and strengthen resilience during tough times.
• Learn how to adopt healthy daily behaviors to stay in the safe stress zone.
• Explore coping mechanisms to manage today’s accelerated rate of change.
• Master new leadership skills for less stress and a more harmonious life.

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Tags: Health and Wellness, Leadership, Management

Leadership Quotes: Bumper Stickers for the Brain
‎ Creative Energy Options, Incorporated; 1st edition
November 25, 2014
Quotes are really there to get you to think in new ways. These are the ones that seemed to jump from the pages and pages of quotes that I was looking at for this book. Take one or two and post them near your computer or on your mirror in the bathroom. We all need these “bumper stickers” to remind us about what really matters on those days we tend to forget who we are and why we are really here. Who knows, some day one of your quotes may be in another book to help folks you will never even meet. Keep believing in the goodness of the women and men and all the children of the world and together we really can make a difference. As James Baldwin says, children will imitate their elders. Let’s give them the positives of life to imitate.

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Tags: Leadership, Management

Unique: How Story Sparks Diversity, Inclusion, and Engagement
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 12, 2014
WE ARE ALL UNIQUE AND CONNECTED Everyone has a back story. Everyone. Most of us put on a mask or hide behind a shield and keep our stories hidden. Not anymore. This book helps you find your story, your place as a leader. “Story is the most powerful tool in a leader’s arsenal,” says Harvard Professor Howard Gardner. Stories teach us about courage, creativity, compassion, and collaboration. Once you learn to tell your story you develop a personal brand that puts you head and shoulders above your peers. Become the best you can be with these important business tools: SANKOFA MAPPING to see behaviors that are handed from generation to generation The OUT Technique so you can Observe, Understand and Transform behavior patterns PEP Talks to discuss difficult subjects and get great results.

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion, Creativity

Don't Bring It to Work
Jossey-Bass; 1st edition
February 05, 2009
How can you get to the bottom of workplace behaviors that simply don't work for you or your organization?

Don't Bring It to Work explores what happens when patterns originally created to cope with family conflicts are unleashed in the workplace.?This groundbreaking book draws on the success of Sylvia Lafair's PatternAware program Total Leadership Connections. Throughout the book she shows how to break the cycle of pattern repetition and offers the tools that can turn unhealthy family baggage into creative energy that will foster better workplace associations and career success.

Lafair identifies the thirteen most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office: Super Achiever, Rebel, Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer, Clown, Martyr, Splitter, Procrastinator, Drama Queen or King, Pleaser, Denier, and Avoider. To help overcome destructive behavior problems, she maps out the three main steps for becoming aware of patterns and finding the way OUT:

Observe your behavior to discern underlying patterns
Understand and probe deeper to discover the origins of these patterns
Transform your behavior by taking action to change
The book includes a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical, workbook-style exercises that clearly show how anyone can get beyond old, outmoded attempts at conflict resolution and empower themselves to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

9 eBooks
No Problems Here!
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
There is a great yet sad scene in the film “Titanic” where the captain of the biggest, most modern ship of the era suggests that a slight turn near an iceberg is all that is needed… until crunch! This is just like those at work who nod their heads in disbelief and say, “There were no signs that anything was wrong,” (Enron anyone?) except the signs are always there. This paper will help you know what to say to a denier or make you look at yourself in the mirror to see if this is one of your own patterns and what to do about it. This is a key behavior pattern that can destroy unless it is transformed.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Gotcha!
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
Can you remember the first time you were a participant in the Gotcha’ Game? For most of us, it was when we were kids either with our siblings or at school. Many of us became masters at this type of one-up-man-ship activity. Problem is that at work, it lowers productivity and destroys trust. Learn how you can be a leader in stopping this dreaded game before it becomes toxic. Leaders who know what to look for can stop GOTCHA in its tracks, build trust, and foster collaboration that leads to loyalty and team accountability. More effective communication leads to less office politics.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

7 Ways to Successful Group Dynamics
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
The days of the solo hero or heroine are over. If you really sit and think about it, we really are all connected and no one wins unless we all do. What a great motto for a work team who wants to be the best in the company. This paper gives you the 7 core ways that teams need to cooperate, learn to listen to each other, and respond with accountability. These dynamics have been successful in team building activities around the world. After all, the essence of every team is a group of individuals who would prefer to succeed and that means doing it together.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

How To Speak Genderly
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
Did you ever wonder what happens to the words that come out of your mouth and go into someone else’s ears? How many times have you said “that’s not what I meant to say?” Or how many times have you said “What are you talking about?” Men and women react differently to stimulus words and the more you can use the right words at the right time the more your leadership skills will soar. This sets you in the right direction for healthy and meaningful conversations. This stops office politics in its tracks.

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion, Leadership, Management

Practice Safe Stress . . . For Your Health
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
What happens to you when things are not going your way? Do you hide under the covers and become a zombie? Or do you hit the “yell button” and let the whole world know you do not like what is happening? Read this and learn to move from either “Zombieville” or “Freakoutville” to the smooth highway of Safe Stress. For leadership development and executive coaching, this gives you the skinny on how to handle your emotions at work and then bring what you learn home. You will be better off for it.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Gutsy Success Guidebook
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
January 24, 2022
The Gutsy Success Guidebook is the companion Workbook to the Award Winning GUTSY

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion, Leadership, Management

Pattern Aware Success Guide: Companion to Don't Bring It To Work
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
January 24, 2022
This is a daily guide that will help you increase your self-awareness and ability to be a leading force in your workplace. Use it as a daily roadmap to find the way OUT of what no longer supports your life. It will help you to strengthen your capacity to Observe, Understand and Transform patterns that you no longer need nor want.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The 21st Century GUTSY Heroine's Journey
Creative Energy Options Publishing; 1st edition
November 12, 2014
Each person’s journey is both unique and similar.

Follow our Heroines’ stories in this book to help you as you travel the
uncharted territory of finding what really matters in your life, to creating all the beauty and joy imaginable.

You will have to face challenges and dangers. Know that a mentor will be there to guide you.

And when you return you will have a new freedom that is contagious. Once you are back you can use your special knowledge to help others.

When the call to adventure comes, answer it. Of course, you will have doubts. Answer anyway.

So, Ms. Heroine…..
...Keep Going and Keep Growing

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion

Five Leadership Development Lessons: Taking the OUCH from Office Politics
Creative Energy Options Publishing; 1st edition
November 08, 2014
Break the Cycle of repeating the same old ways of communicating and learn to use the power of dialogue to prevent conflicts and produce cooperation.
Talking together is the foundation of working together. In this book you learn the behavioral ground rules for getting past simple “yes” and “no” answers to find new and powerfully creative solutions to problems.

Explore the FIVE vital lessons for leaders to take the OUCH from frustrating conversations:
1. Telling the truth is NOT spilling your guts
2. Work is NOT a rehab facility
3. Dialogue is NOT just emotion and repetition
4. Outcomes are best if you stay open NOT attached
5. You win when you see everything as connected NOT separate

Leave outdated ways to communicate and resolve conflict in the recycle bin. Dialogue defuses defensiveness and creates camaraderie filled with practical wisdom.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

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Rebuilding Trust: The Warriors’ Path to Championship Greatness after the “Green-Poole Incident”
Thinkers360
May 25, 2023

Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I recently saw a podcast where Warrior Draymond Green discussed their frustrating end-of-the-season loss.

He addresses the punch heard loud and clear.The one that somehow got onto social media where he punched teammate Jordan Poole.

The Podcast with Stephen A. Smith is here.

OUCH!

All teams are the same, whatever their product or service.

That is to say; Green wished the conflict had been handled sooner. The punch was in October 2022, and the Warriors sadly ended their season in May 2023.

When Green talked about his role in the confrontation, making me think about my company.

To clarify, I have the same issue. Only it was with words, not fists.

Thus, whether my company finally decides on remote, hybrid, or being in the office full-time is less of an issue than how employees handle daily upsets and conflicts.

For example, let me tell you about Jill.

She has all the proper credentials. It does not get any better than Harvard MBA, so they say.

Super-achievers get stuck with the need to be right rather than happy.

However, Jill’s trap is to be stuck in that category of life titled “need to win.” And her “winning way” is to defend, explain, and justify her position rather than ask questions and collaborate.

As a senior VP, Jill is a whiz at marketing and has contributed significantly to our organization. Yet she is disliked. The word despise comes up on occasion.

Furthermore, she is attractive (is that a sexist thing to say), well-educated (as noted, a Harvard grad), and intelligent (glad this is gender-neutral).

However, when she disagrees, it becomes ugly and frustrating.

Therefore, I cannot get her to see her role in conflicts. The other person is always “that A-hole.”

Everyone wants to be a positive role model to work colleagues.

I want you to know she never curses, and yet, everyone at some point (including me) ends up in the A-hole category.

I once played ignorant and asked her exactly what the A in A-hole stands for, to hear her say the word “ass.”

Consequently, she smiled, shrugged, and said I should figure it out myself.

I can’t figure out the next steps. Her behavior around conflict is not working.

What tools and tips do you have to help me help her?

And could you also have some golden rules for the Warriors for next season? They are my favorite team.

Go Dubs!

Signed,

Needs Cooperation

Leadership programs must include self-awareness training.

Dear Needs Cooperation,

Whether it is sales, marketing, IT, or administrative support, the common denominator is how people get along to get the work done. Recent studies should keep you even more awake at night than you are.

I don’t want to upset you; I want you to know the high cost of unresolved conflict.

These studies indicate that regardless of the economy being up or down, “people stuff” sets companies apart.

  1. Ninety-three percent of workers report being “negatively affected by an inability to deal with conflict on the job.”
  2. Well over half, sixty-nine percent, avoid confronting co-workers on accountability issues.
  3. Human resource professionals report having to intervene thrice weekly in conflict.
  4. Over thirty percent of retail, food, and leisure employees experience hostility at work every day.
  5. Senior executives and business owners spend more than half their time resolving staff personality conflicts, double the time spent in the 1990s.
  6. Healthcare expenditures are fifty percent higher for workers who report high-stress levels, and conflict-ridden work environments create stress.

Are you feeling like you are carrying a significant burden on your back? Well, guess what?

The impact of conflict at work can be a deal breaker for most organizations.

Conflict, instead of collaboration, is expensive and takes the fun out of any creative work. Creativity could and should be done in a fast and furious frenzy of creative energy.

Collaboration is the goal. Now, how to get there.

Take a deep breath and keep reading—first, more bad news.

To get a complete sense of the financial hemorrhaging at most companies, you must factor in other big-ticket items such as lawsuits and the cost of employee turnover (estimated at 30 percent to 150 percent of an employee’s salary).

Consequently, an untold loss due to a distracted and stressed workforce shows reduced productivity and passive-aggressive absenteeism.

Leadership training for everyone brings passive-aggressive behavior to the surface.

Ug, passive-aggressive absenteeism?

That is when someone calls in sick (not!), so they don’t have to face someone (maybe Jill?). Or they call in sick to prove the work cannot get done without them.

Hang in there; we are almost done with the statistics.

In addition, here is one more study by the American Management Association. Employees spend about 25 percent of their time, or two hours daily, in unproductive workplace disputes with colleagues.

Leadership training programs that include emotional intelligence training are robust.

Firstly, here are some new ideas about conflict at work.

You ask, “Why do tensions get dialed up at work?”

Moreover, that is a good beginning question.

Conflict runs rampant in the workplace because of our natural and universal tendency to bring our families to work.

“Yikes,” you say, “that is impossible. I dropped the kids at school; my wife works on the other side of town. So, what are you talking about?”

Workplace flare-ups go deep; if we look, we can track them back to patterned behavior we learned as kids in our original organization, the family.

Most importantly, we bring these patterns into our present work organizations.

Gravity and family patterns are similar once you understand how they work.

Think about gravity. We must learn to appreciate that it keeps our feet down on the planet. And thanks to gravity, if a ball is thrown high in the air, it will, no matter what we intend, it will fall to earth, and if we happen to be standing in its trajectory, it will bop us on the head.

Here is what we know about workplace conflict: professional relationships can be filled with emotional tensions, just like relationships at home.

Above all, we strive to be wise, philosophical, and mature professionally. Much of the time, we are.

And then, that guy over there sets your teeth on edge because it reminds you of how your older brother used to mock you.

Perhaps someone made a mess in the community kitchen.

Disrespecting a boss is often similar to disrespecting a parent or caretaker.

Suddenly you are mad, frustrated, upset, and unsure why. You get angry when you find yourself cleaning up again, as you always used to when your mother never cleaned up after dinner.

This reality is played out repeatedly everywhere on the planet; this is the underbelly of what much of the workplace statistics concerning conflict are ultimately about.

Okay, okay, you say, I got it. The big question is what I do about it.

Team dialogue is far different from proving who is right or wrong.

In any case, do something to begin the dialogue with your team.

In today’s fast-paced and complex world, success in the workplace is often attributed to the ability to think critically, solve problems, and work effectively as a team.

While individual skills are crucial, harnessing the power of systems thinking can elevate teams to new heights.

In short, systems thinking is a holistic approach that allows individuals to understand the interconnections and dynamics of complex systems.

Identifying Root Causes is the first order of business.

Systems thinking encourages team members to look beyond surface-level issues and identify the underlying causes of problems.

Rather than placing blame on individuals, a systems-oriented team would explore how various elements within the system contribute to the problem.

This approach promotes a collaborative environment where teams work together to address the root causes, leading to long-lasting solutions.

For example: In a marketing team, instead of blaming a particular employee for a failed campaign, a systems-thinking approach would involve analyzing the marketing strategy, target audience, competitive landscape, and internal processes to identify the root causes of the campaign’s failure.

Understanding Interdependencies is a powerful way to consider conflicts.

Ultimately, systems thinking emphasizes understanding interdependencies within a system.

Team members who grasp the interconnected nature of their work can identify how their actions and decisions affect others, leading to improved coordination and collaboration.

Recognizing these interdependencies allows teams to align their efforts, minimize conflicts, and optimize overall performance.

In other words, in software development, a systems-thinking team understands that changes made by one developer can have a ripple effect throughout the entire codebase.

They prioritize communication and consider the impact of their work on other team members, ensuring smooth integration and minimizing conflicts during the development process.

Embracing Feedback Loops will move individuals and teams from conflict to collaboration.

Similarly, systems thinking encourages teams to view feedback as an essential learning process.

By recognizing the feedback loops within a system, teams can continuously improve their performance.

They actively seek customer, colleague, and stakeholder feedback and use it to refine their strategies and adapt to changing circumstances.

Look at it this way. A customer support team that embraces systems thinking regularly collects customer feedback, analyzes patterns and trends, and shares this information with product development and marketing teams.

Indeed, by leveraging these feedback loops, the team can identify opportunities for improvement, enhance customer satisfaction, and drive innovation.

Systems thinking encourages team members to step back and look at the big picture.

Instead of focusing solely on their tasks, they consider the broader context and align their actions with the team’s objectives. This holistic perspective fosters collaboration, improves decision-making, and enhances the team’s ability to achieve its goals.

Thus, systems thinking in a project management team allows members to consider various factors, such as budget constraints, resource availability, and stakeholder expectations.

By understanding the interplay between these elements, the team can develop realistic project plans, allocate resources effectively, and deliver successful outcomes.

Cultivate an environment where creativity and innovation can thrive using systems thinking.

Hence, teams can identify opportunities for improvement, innovation, and disruption by understanding the complex interactions within a system. This mindset encourages individuals to challenge the status quo, think outside the box, and propose novel solutions to existing problems.

Example: A design team that applies systems thinking actively explores how their products or services interact with users, the environment, and other stakeholders. By understanding the broader system, they can identify innovative features, address usability issues, and create products that deliver a superior user experience.

Systems such as family, work, or community give a better route to success.

In conclusion: Combining family systems and generic systems thinking is a powerful approach that enables teams to see the bigger picture, understand complex interdependencies, and tackle challenges collaboratively.

You can read more about systems thinking in my book, “Don’t Bring It To Work” (especially pages 183-185.)

By applying systems thinking principles, teams can identify root causes, adapt to change, and optimize performance.

I did not want to focus too much on the Green- Poole punch. Only those who were there can address the situation appropriately. I only want to say that Draymond Green was accountable for his part in the altercation on the Podcast.

And Jordan Poole has also spoken out respectfully.

We are all connected, and no one wins unless we all should be the 21st center mantra.

What happens when conflict rears its head and makes us behave uncomfortably? It is a catalyst to help all of us think in broader terms.

Systems thinking is what the world needs now to get us from the cycles of violence and discrimination worldwide.

Let’s keep going and growing.

Here’s to your success,

Sylvia Lafair

PS. Now is the time to look conflict in the face. Go to www.ceoptions.com and sign up for a free copy of chapter one of the Amazon best seller “Invisible Stress: It’s NOT What YOU Think.”

Stress has many faces. Learn what triggers your anger and how to move from mad to glad.

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Tags: Leadership

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