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Sylvia Lafair, PhD

CEO at Creative Energy Options Inc

Petaluma, California, United States

WHAT I DO: I provide executives and entrepreneurs coaching and programs that build strong interpersonal communication skills, increase team effectiveness and achieve rapid growth.

WHO I WORK WITH: I have partnered with over 5000+ small, medium and large organizations in healthcare, government and technology who value people along with profits and create life learning cultures including Novartis, Microsoft, Astra Zeneca, Pfizer, and Capgemini.

WHAT MAKES US DIFFERENT: By working globally for over 30 years we have developed a unique method, a GPS tracking system, that offers guidelines to uncover the invisible communication patterns that create conflict and derail relationships. Our coaching and programs are award winners that limit absenteeism, avoid legal hassles, and help individuals and teams flourish.

WHAT OTHERS SAY: "Creative Energy Options Inc.continues to deliver exponential value to me professionally and personally. I created a new strategic revenue stream. My new leadership patterns are getting recognition and I was recently promoted. I am more clear, direct, concise and powerful. Your work is solid gold." - Andy Heppelle, Accelerated Solutions Environment (Principal, Americas West) Capgemini

"Dr. Lafair has brilliantly synthesized the complexities of today’s workplace and reworked them into accessible, singular action items that add immediate value to your organization. Excellent!" - Marshall Goldsmith, Top Ten Global Business Thinker

HOW IT WORKS: We first meet via phone for a 30- minute strategy session. You will then receive a proposal, more like a menu of options. From there we talk again and custom design exactly what will get you to your goals.

READY TO TALK: Reach out to me directly here on LinkedIn. You can also e-mail me at sylvia@ceoptions.com

Visit online at www.ceoptions.com or call me directly at 570.233.1042

Sylvia Lafair, PhD Points
Academic 0
Author 456
Influencer 97
Speaker 0
Entrepreneur 0
Total 553

Points based upon Thinkers360 patent-pending algorithm.

Thought Leader Profile

Portfolio Mix

Company Information

Company Type: Service Provider
Business Unit: leadership development/HR.
Theatre: North America
Last Media Interview: 07/14/2022

Areas of Expertise

Business Strategy
Change Management 37.66
Culture 30.54
Diversity and Inclusion 43.43
Future of Work 30.03
Health and Wellness 37.63
Leadership 40.51
Management 48.17
Mental Health 33.29
Sustainability
HR 30.04
Coaching 31.75

Industry Experience

Higher Education & Research
Professional Services

Publications

65 Article/Blogs
How leaders recognize and overcome cognitive biases that impede critical thinking
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May 04, 2023
Summary: Cognitive biases can impede critical thinking and decision-making. When leaders make more objective and informed decisions, they move to the head of the pack of successful companies. Dear Dr. Sylvia, What’s a gal to do? My senior team is looking at how we can do better with strategic

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Critical Thinking for Twenty-first Century Leaders
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April 26, 2023
Summary: Leaders are constantly faced with challenges that require them to analyze information. You must also evaluate alternatives and make decisions that have far-reaching consequences. Critical thinking is the ability to think clearly and rationally. You must study and evaluate information to arr

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Creating a Safe and Inclusive Classroom: Tips for Educators and Leaders
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April 24, 2023
Summary: Creating a safe and inclusive classroom is essential for students to feel supported, valued, and motivated to learn. Teachers play a crucial role in fostering a positive and welcoming environment that promotes diversity, equity, and inclusion. Here are practical tips (and one that is unique

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

The Cost of Stress: How Leaders Can Stay Resilient
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April 19, 2023
Summary: As leaders, it is essential to take care of yourselves so that you can take care of your team and your customers. Here are some tips and strategies to help you manage stress and lead your team effectively. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I just read that stress in the workplace is a billion-dollar problem

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Diversity in the Workplace: Tips for Creating an Inclusive Environment
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April 12, 2023
Summary: Creating a diverse workplace requires a significant effort from everyone in the organization. Here I explore how to impact diversity at work, with examples of successful initiatives. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Firstly, congrats on being named in the Top 50 Global Thought Leaders and Influencers on Di

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Educators and Parents: How to Prepare High School Students for Adulthood
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April 10, 2023
Summary: What is missing in preparing today’s students for life challenges? They want “people skills,” and it would benefit us to teach them skills to be better adults. Dear Dr. Sylvia, As a large urban high school principal, I appreciate your time with my leadership team. Furtherm

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Your Family’s Secret Influence On Career Success
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April 05, 2023
Summary: Family patterns can impact individual development. This includes the ability to become influential adult leaders. Leaders who become more aware of the impact of the past on the present are the ones who will win long-term. Dear Dr. Sylvia, As head of HR at a very competitive organization, on

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

10 Proven Strategies for Educators to Empower Students in Coping with Stress
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March 31, 2023
Summary: Is the world spinning out of control? It feels that way with the speed of negative issues that seem to impact everyone, everywhere, all at once. Here are some ways to help students cope with the complexities of modern life. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I am a high school English teacher. My kids are hu

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Why “I Never Thought About It This Way” Information is Good for YOU
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March 29, 2023
Summary: The internet and social media have changed us. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes not. Here is an interview with Tom Lane, author of “The Karma Factor,” that will give you new ways of thinking about the consequences of behavior. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I messed up! Big time! And t

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

The Cost of Gun Violence: Educators and Health Professionals Must Examine the Devastating Impact on Those Who Survive
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March 27, 2023
Summary: Gun violence in America has become a vicious cycle perpetuating from generation to generation. It’s time to go “upriver” to solve this crisis. Educators and health professionals are the first lines of defense. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Yet again! Another shooting at a school. More

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Does It Take Courage to Change? Absolutely!
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March 22, 2023
Summary: Today, I tell a true story about one man’s quest to find his most profound truth and what it means to be vulnerable at work. Equally important is what this meant to his team. Here is how it started. HR called The SVP of marketing of a flourishing organization for a meeting. There were

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

What Educators, Health Providers, Entrepreneurs Must Know About Change Management Initiatives
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March 15, 2023
Summary: Change is stressful. Yet, knowing how to manage it is foundational for leadership growth and development. All leaders, in health care, education, and entrepreneurs must help the rest of the organization make friends with change. As we say — give change a chance. Do you worry when chan

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Here’s What to Do About the Stress of Constant Change
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March 08, 2023
Summary:  Change is happening at an escalated pace. The stress of constant change makes it the #1 health concern worldwide. Here’s what you need to know to keep from falling down the rabbit hole of anxiety and depression. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I read that the primary sources of social change inclu

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Here’s What It Takes To Become Conflict Competent
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March 01, 2023
Summary: How much time do you spend angry and upset with your colleagues, friends, or family? It’s time to learn the skills of being conflict competent. That means you have the right communication system to speak and be heard. More than that, you lead others to solutions that benefit all. Dear Dr.

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Salon Speak: Small Talk, Deep Talk, or No Talk, Which is Best?
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February 27, 2023
Summary: Every time a client sits in your chair and faces the mirror with you standing behind, a choice occurs. Chat, joke, get personal, or “let it be.” How do you know what the best idea is? First, think about what you, the stylist, prefer when it’s your turn to sit in the chair

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

How to Banish the GOTCHA GAME at Work
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February 22, 2023
Summary: Love it or hate it; it won’t go away. Not those extra 10 pounds! I’m talking about conflict. Those annoying times when you are at odds with someone when you are pissed off with a client, supplier, staff, or even your best friend. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Is it me? Or is the world becomi

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Here’s How Educators Can Stop Excessive Conflict in Schools
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February 20, 2023
Summary: In every work setting, especially in schools, there is a time when individuals throw up their hands and ask, “Why can’t we all just get along!” Here are tools and techniques that answer this question and create a more efficient, collaborative culture for educators. Dear Dr

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

During Layoffs Here’s How Leaders Can Be “Pattern Pioneers” For Long-Term Success
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February 15, 2023
Summary: Pioneers are typically free-thinking, adventurous, spontaneous, and highly creative. Leaders who sort out the difference between a work problem and an ongoing work pattern can lead their companies to long-term success. Dear Dr. Sylvia, My organization is going through the pain of layof

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Give the Gift of a Healthy Laugh This Valentine’s Day
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February 13, 2023
Summary: Roses, chocolate, and Hallmark cards have always been the standards to express love for someone special. Here’s a way that is inexpensive and has a lasting impact. Want to give your honey a great gift for Valentine’s Day? One that is virtually cost-free and has a super health be

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

What Smart Leaders Learn From The Super Bowl
CEO
February 10, 2023
Watching the Super Bowl, cheerin’g for your favorite team, snacking, and connecting with friends can be fun. Also, pay attention to what you learn even if you never have to tackle an opponent to the ground. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I know it is popular to have a business coach these days. That, so they…

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

What Smart Leaders Learn From The Super Bowl
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February 09, 2023
Summary: Watching the Super Bowl, cheerin’g for your favorite team, snacking, and connecting with friends can be fun. Also, pay attention to what you learn even if you never have to tackle an opponent to the ground. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I know it is popular to have a business coach these days. Tha

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Coaching

Peace Tools NOT Pistols: In Honor of Tyre Nichols, (1993-2023)
CEO
February 03, 2023
Is there such a thing as a “peace tool?” Read on and see how you can help turn the tide of our divided world. No matter your physical, economic, or intellectual status, there is room for you to participate. Peace tools are waiting for you to claim them. Dear All, Tyre Nichols was killed…

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Change Management

Leadership Tips: Here are 2 Words To Avoid At Work, at Home, and Everywhere
CEO
February 01, 2023
Words are powerful. Some can lead you to success. Others will get in the way and keep you stuck in old, outdated behavior patterns. Be careful of the two vital words discussed here.

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Leadership Lessons: Telling the Truth Is NOT Spilling Your GUTS
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January 24, 2023
Summary: Truth and freedom are roommates who depend on each other to help us live fully engaged and positive lives. Here are ways to investigate the power of truth. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I recently read excerpts from “The Spare “by Prince Harry, and all I could think of was a line from Stephe

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Leadership Lessons: What Matters When You Tell The Truth
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January 19, 2023
Summary: In this era of social media excess, where everyone can offer their version of what is truth without fact-checking, it’s time for critical thinking to stop the dysfunction of speaking without considering the consequences of our words. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I have a question for you. Questio

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Influential Leaders Practice Safe Stress
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January 13, 2023
Summary: The beginning of each new year offers unique possibilities for growth and health. At the core, it is mostly about attitude. Here are some tips on navigating your world to make it special. Dear Dr. Sylvia, The new year has not been friendly to me. To clarify, I live in what used to be…

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

How to Leap into the New Year and Let Your Dreams Take Flight
CEO
December 27, 2022
Summary: This is a great time to think about how you want to advance your career and your relationships. Go ahead, take a leap of faith. Here’s what to do. Dear …. Did you know that at least 50% of adults make new year’s resolutions? Mostly they are about more exercise, less weight, healthier eating,…

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Here Are Two Short Questions to Ask Yourself During the Holidays
CEO
December 20, 2022
Life is like a sandwich. Endings and beginnings are like the top and bottom pieces of bread; the rest is considered the sandwich filling. Dear …. The holidays are known as a time of fun, festivities, and fascinating happenings. It is also a time to reflect and plan for the new year. With all…

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

The Future of Work Means Choosing Dialogue Over Debate. Here’s What To Consider.
CEO
December 14, 2022
We are in new territory in the world of work. It’s time to take advantage of the opportunities gained by collaborating rather than condemning.

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Future of Work

What Educators Face as The World Changes and Helpful Solutions
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December 12, 2022
Summary: We are in new territory post-pandemic, and the education system needs an upgrade, or we will keep losing dedicated educators. Here’s what to do. With a radical idea at the end of this post. If you’re a classroom teacher feeling the pressure of your job, I can help you identify t

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Time to Talk Truth to Power: Here’s What To Do
CEOPTIONS
December 07, 2022
Did you ever think there would be a big push to consider employees’ mental health at work?

Don’t get me wrong.

I know it is essential to bring, as they say, your whole self to work.

I got thinking, what the heck does that mean?

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Tags: Leadership, Culture, Mental Health

Upgrade Your Soft Skills; Needed Now More Than Ever
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November 30, 2022
Summary: The rules of the game of work are changing. We are in the middle of a behavior reframe. Social media teaches us that “if you think it, you should say it,” regardless of consequences. Not true! Here is a better way. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Holiday time is upon us at full speed. For exam

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Is Holiday Pressure High? Science Suggests A Coffee Break And Then Do This
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November 23, 2022
Summary: Fourth quarter is looming in front of you—bonuses at work, gifts for family and friends at home, — overthinking everything. The benefits of putting your career on hold, even for a brief time, are essential. It’s equally important to do something positive. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I do

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Culture

Leadership Lessons: What Do Super Achievers, Rebels, and Leaders Need to Change?
CEOPTIONS
November 16, 2022
Summary: The way OUT of constant conflict is to help your employees learn leadership skills for now and into the future. Systems thinking and releasing outdated behavior patterns are vital for success.

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Tags: Leadership, Culture, Mental Health

Leadership Lessons: How to Overcome Emotional Blind Spots
CEO Elevating Leadership
November 09, 2022
Everyone has them. You cannot see them, yet, they are part of your life and can destroy a career (or marriage) if left untended. Here’s help tackling this evasive, confusing area. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I had a BIG wake-up call last week. Now, I’m finally ready to talk about it. It is one of…

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

Survival Skills for Attorneys to Bypass Burnout
CEO Elevating Leadership
November 07, 2022
Have you ever complained about feeling burned out? Or has the word overwhelmed become an integral part of your vocabulary?

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

Stress Management and Leadership Programs Should Begin in School, Here’s Why.
CEOPTIONS
November 02, 2022
Summary: Instead of respecting differences, we create more division. Here are thoughts on how to create “a perfect union”.

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

How Witches, Halloween, and Stress Can Make You Feel Crazy
CEO Elevating Leadership
October 27, 2022
Summary: The reasons for fear and the decision to either speak out or shut up started long ago. If you ever wonder why so many women are bothered by self-doubt and afraid to speak out, keep reading. Here are some ideas that may surprise you. Men, as well as women, please pay attention.

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Mental Health

The Secret to Manage Stress at Salons During Challenging Times
CEO Elevating Leadership
October 24, 2022
Summary: Stress on the job is at an all-time high. There is also good news: stress management programs highlight ways to keep employees and clients happy. Here’s how.

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Health and Wellness

Ouch: Taking the Sting from Conflict at Work
CEOPTIONS
October 20, 2022
Summary: Workplace conflict is a BIG problem that won’t go away. Most executives and entrepreneurs I coach first worry about $$$$ issues and then quickly think about their employees. Here are thoughts about what may keep you up at night and what to do differently.

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Tags: Leadership, HR, Change Management

Frances Hesselbein: Meet a GUTSY woman who, like Queen Elizabeth II, underlines duty and legacy
Creative Energy Options
October 13, 2022
In today’s world, women empowerment training is trending. Yet, it’s not so much about the number of women in leadership positions (however, that is good); it’s more about what these women stand for and how they bring their values to their organizations. We can all learn deeply from women like the late Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and Frances Hesselbein, C.E.O. of The Leadership Forum. There is less focus less on celebrity and more on duty and legacy.

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

How Salon Owners and Hair Stylists Become Stress Masters at Work
CEO Elevating Leadership
October 11, 2022
Stress sucks! Especially when it follows you to work. There you will often meet various versions of Debbie or Don Downer.

Trust me; they are everywhere.

For example, you know the type—the guy or gal who always sees the rain and never the rainbow. They are so annoying as they frown to complain that the color is a shade too dark or the cut a tad too short. They are impossible to please.

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

Tom Brady, Microsoft Tablets, and Work/Home Relationships
Creative Energy Options
September 27, 2022
Few things seem more different than the worlds of work and home. However, it is a myth that we can separate them. Stress in one area often tumbles into the other. Here are some tips for creating a better balance.

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

Why Our Leadership Coaching Services Start from the Inside OUT
Creative Energy Options
September 19, 2022
How would the world of work change if we learned to look at our behavior patterns from a broader perspective? Here are suggestions from our leadership coaching services to think differently

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Tags: Leadership, Mental Health, Coaching

Tyler Perry, Leadership, and Generational Forgiveness
Creative Energy Options
September 06, 2022
I know in your leadership coaching program you have a process called Sankofa Mapping. I would like more information about why I should go back in time, as you suggest, to make today’s life better at work and at home.

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

How to Manage Anger at Work, Home, Everywhere
Creative Energy Options
August 30, 2022
Summary: What do you do when anger boils over into your relationships? Do you walk away from angry confrontations with ease and grace? Perhaps you are left with hurt feelings, emotional scars, or physical ills. Here are ways to control anger before it becomes a tsunami.

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Tags: Leadership, Health and Wellness, Mental Health

Join the Sanity Challenge!
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August 23, 2022
Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I hear your Sanity Challenge is lots of fun and very informative. I don’t want to wait day after day. Therefore, can you send me a week worth of exercises I can do when I want?  I tend to be a rebel who hates being on anyone’s timeline but my own.  I̷

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Tags: Leadership, Change Management, Health and Wellness

4 Mistakes Leaders Make That Cause Stress to Boil Over
LinkedIn
August 17, 2022
How do you prepare for change? When things don't go as planned, what is your way of looking at the situation?

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Tags: Leadership, Change Management, Health and Wellness

4 Mistakes Leaders Make That Cause Stress to Boil Over 
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August 16, 2022
Summary: Too much stress is self-induced and comes from how we react to change. While the change won’t stop, how you respond can make a difference. While I know this is a fundamental concept, here are ways to look at your responses in a different light.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I’ll

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Tags: Leadership, Change Management, Health and Wellness

How to Reduce Stress at Work: Avoid Toxic Social Narcissists  
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August 09, 2022
Summary: We live with fake news, general rancor, sizzle and sparkle, slander, and superficiality. As leaders, you must look at the information you receive more intently. Here are ways to judge if someone is here to help or hinder long-term success.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I watched a recent 60

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

5 Ways to Handle Stress at Work and Become Resilient
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August 02, 2022
Summary: When tough times happen, it’s easy to pull the covers over your head and stuff down the upset or go to the other extreme and shout it out. A powerful way to drop the doldrums and be courageous is often finding courage from others. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Between the heat, the unrelenting vir

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Leadership Lessons: When Hidden Emotions Show Up
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July 26, 2022
Summary: The emotions underneath leadership decisions are often ignored. Learning to read your specific personal concerns and upsets can lead to more effective leadership moving forward.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I cannot watch the news anymore without a knot in my stomach. When I see the fires r

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

How to Use Your Favorite 4-Letter Word and Make a Positive Difference 
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July 19, 2022
Summary: The world has changed, and more freedom of speech exists. However, freedom has a downside. The big question is how to use that freedom productively rather than hurt and hinder relationships.   Dear Dr. Sylvia,  Am I alone in using strong words to help calm me down when I am u

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

What Happens to Women Leaders When They Tell The Truth?
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July 12, 2022
Summary: There is always a risk to telling the truth. Is it more difficult for women to speak up? Most research says “yes.” Here is a way to be clear, heard, and respected.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  As a leader, I know I must give difficult feedback to my team. However, I have not mas

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

We All Tell Lies, Which Type of Liar Are You? 
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July 06, 2022
Summary: We have all heard “the truth shall set you free,”; yet, lying is a daily occurrence. Read on to see which pattern, from fibs to fraud, fits your personality and, more importantly, what to do about it.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I don’t know who to believe anymore. When I

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

The Benefits of A Difficult Conversation
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June 29, 2022
Summary: If being judged makes you uncomfortable, here are some ways to structure a feedback session for success. Who do you think has the most challenging time with feedback? Is it the giver or the receiver? Most leadership development programs focus on how the giver, the leader, discusses feedback

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Tags: Leadership, Change Management, Health and Wellness

How to Be In Charge of Stress NOT Just Cope
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June 21, 2022
Summary: I did a survey asking the following question: What are your usual coping mechanisms? Here are new ways to cope with today’s stress. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Is the world moving faster? Perhaps it’s just me? Nah, I understand that we have more technology to give us information at warp sp

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Tags: Leadership, Change Management, Health and Wellness

Here’s What Success at Work Looks Like During Difficult Times
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June 14, 2022
Summary: How do you stay true to your core values when everything is out of focus? Dear Dr. Sylvia, How do you ever know when enough is enough? I mean, enough in every sense of the word. For example, when is there enough money in the bank? Or when there is enough food in the…
The post HereR

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Case Study for Leadership Development and Team Collaboration
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June 06, 2022
Summary: Here’s how to tell the truth at work; encourage openness and collaboration rather than defensiveness for successful team development. Dear Dr. Sylvia, We are now back in the office three days a week and working from home for two days. It certainly is changing the dynamic of how people

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Peace Tools NOT Pistols (or any other weapons of destruction)
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May 30, 2022
Summary: It is critical to look “upriver” to solve the polarization and violence we are now seeing at work, at home, and in our communities.  Dear …  I am getting so many questions from leaders and emerging leaders about the polarization of our society and the number of attac

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

How Leaders Can Move Past “Survival of the Fittest” to “Survive and Be Fit” 
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May 24, 2022
Summary: External forces keep us on our toes, ready to react. Here we discuss the hidden reasons for why we respond as we do.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I’ll cut right to the chase. Time is going by, and I am frustrated and worried.  I am a 47-year-old healthy male who is the CFO of a…

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Here’s How To Identify and Cope With Stress Now and Forever!
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May 17, 2022
Summary: Are you looking for stress relief? Is your stress higher at work or at home? Here is how to cope with stress and help those around you benefit.  Dear Dr. Sylvia,  Even though I don’t know Will Smith, I keep getting a whack on the side of my head! At least, it’s only fi

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Leadership Education and Transformation: Is Change Worth the Effort Or Not?
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May 10, 2022
Summary: Transformation is in vogue right now. Here are ideas to help you decide what to decide. Be careful what you ask for, you may just get it. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I am a Senior Vice President of a very successful retail furniture company. However, I have lost my mojo. I want to quit and…
The

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Your BOSS Is NOT Your MOTHER
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May 03, 2022
Summary: Do you know that many bosses can be seen as work- mothers? It’s universal and essential to realize this is a complex role that gets in the way of long-term success. Here are some ideas to ponder. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I have a mother; of course, we all do! I am also a mother…
The post Yo

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

Leadership Skills to Stop the Maddening Communication from Mixed Messages
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April 26, 2022
Summary: When stress gets high, mixed messages go even higher. Here are some ways to stay in the “safe stress zone” when you get inconsistent and unclear messages. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I am an intelligent vice president at a very sophisticated marketing company. I guess I shouldn’t bra

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Tags: Change Management, Health and Wellness, Leadership

5 Books
Gutsy: How Women Leaders Make Change
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated; 2nd edition
January 24, 2022
It's GOOD to be GUTSY!

For some of us this is easy, to speak out, take risks, stand at the leading edge of change. For most of us, we need a nudge. So, this is a great book to get you started on your path to being GUTSY!

You'll learn to Observe and Understand behaviors that have stood in the way of true collaboration, and Transform into the world of outstanding partnership. From exploring models of being GUTSY, to what it means to have a pink or blue blanket, this entertaining book will give you the puzzle pieces to build a GUTSY You!

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Tags: Management, Leadership, Change Management

Invisible Stress (It's NOT What YOU Think!): Identify and Change the Patterns and Behaviors Controlling Your Life
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
October 06, 2021
Practice SAFE STRESS . . . It’s Good for YOU

Survival Guide to identify your INVISIBLE STRESS, Live in the SAFE STRESS ZONE, and ENRICH YOUR LIFE

• Discuss the fourth level, invisible stress, with information not available till now.
• Gain cutting-edge methods to tackle root causes of overwhelm and self-doubt.
• Acquire powerful yet simple ways to make stress work for you.
• Gather tips to build confidence and strengthen resilience during tough times.
• Learn how to adopt healthy daily behaviors to stay in the safe stress zone.
• Explore coping mechanisms to manage today’s accelerated rate of change.
• Master new leadership skills for less stress and a more harmonious life.

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Tags: Health and Wellness, Leadership, Management

Leadership Quotes: Bumper Stickers for the Brain
‎ Creative Energy Options, Incorporated; 1st edition
November 25, 2014
Quotes are really there to get you to think in new ways. These are the ones that seemed to jump from the pages and pages of quotes that I was looking at for this book. Take one or two and post them near your computer or on your mirror in the bathroom. We all need these “bumper stickers” to remind us about what really matters on those days we tend to forget who we are and why we are really here. Who knows, some day one of your quotes may be in another book to help folks you will never even meet. Keep believing in the goodness of the women and men and all the children of the world and together we really can make a difference. As James Baldwin says, children will imitate their elders. Let’s give them the positives of life to imitate.

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Tags: Leadership, Management

Unique: How Story Sparks Diversity, Inclusion, and Engagement
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 12, 2014
WE ARE ALL UNIQUE AND CONNECTED Everyone has a back story. Everyone. Most of us put on a mask or hide behind a shield and keep our stories hidden. Not anymore. This book helps you find your story, your place as a leader. “Story is the most powerful tool in a leader’s arsenal,” says Harvard Professor Howard Gardner. Stories teach us about courage, creativity, compassion, and collaboration. Once you learn to tell your story you develop a personal brand that puts you head and shoulders above your peers. Become the best you can be with these important business tools: SANKOFA MAPPING to see behaviors that are handed from generation to generation The OUT Technique so you can Observe, Understand and Transform behavior patterns PEP Talks to discuss difficult subjects and get great results.

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion

Don't Bring It to Work
Jossey-Bass; 1st edition
February 05, 2009
How can you get to the bottom of workplace behaviors that simply don't work for you or your organization?

Don't Bring It to Work explores what happens when patterns originally created to cope with family conflicts are unleashed in the workplace.?This groundbreaking book draws on the success of Sylvia Lafair's PatternAware program Total Leadership Connections. Throughout the book she shows how to break the cycle of pattern repetition and offers the tools that can turn unhealthy family baggage into creative energy that will foster better workplace associations and career success.

Lafair identifies the thirteen most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office: Super Achiever, Rebel, Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer, Clown, Martyr, Splitter, Procrastinator, Drama Queen or King, Pleaser, Denier, and Avoider. To help overcome destructive behavior problems, she maps out the three main steps for becoming aware of patterns and finding the way OUT:

Observe your behavior to discern underlying patterns
Understand and probe deeper to discover the origins of these patterns
Transform your behavior by taking action to change
The book includes a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical, workbook-style exercises that clearly show how anyone can get beyond old, outmoded attempts at conflict resolution and empower themselves to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

9 eBooks
No Problems Here!
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
There is a great yet sad scene in the film “Titanic” where the captain of the biggest, most modern ship of the era suggests that a slight turn near an iceberg is all that is needed… until crunch! This is just like those at work who nod their heads in disbelief and say, “There were no signs that anything was wrong,” (Enron anyone?) except the signs are always there. This paper will help you know what to say to a denier or make you look at yourself in the mirror to see if this is one of your own patterns and what to do about it. This is a key behavior pattern that can destroy unless it is transformed.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Gotcha!
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
Can you remember the first time you were a participant in the Gotcha’ Game? For most of us, it was when we were kids either with our siblings or at school. Many of us became masters at this type of one-up-man-ship activity. Problem is that at work, it lowers productivity and destroys trust. Learn how you can be a leader in stopping this dreaded game before it becomes toxic. Leaders who know what to look for can stop GOTCHA in its tracks, build trust, and foster collaboration that leads to loyalty and team accountability. More effective communication leads to less office politics.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

7 Ways to Successful Group Dynamics
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
The days of the solo hero or heroine are over. If you really sit and think about it, we really are all connected and no one wins unless we all do. What a great motto for a work team who wants to be the best in the company. This paper gives you the 7 core ways that teams need to cooperate, learn to listen to each other, and respond with accountability. These dynamics have been successful in team building activities around the world. After all, the essence of every team is a group of individuals who would prefer to succeed and that means doing it together.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

How To Speak Genderly
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
Did you ever wonder what happens to the words that come out of your mouth and go into someone else’s ears? How many times have you said “that’s not what I meant to say?” Or how many times have you said “What are you talking about?” Men and women react differently to stimulus words and the more you can use the right words at the right time the more your leadership skills will soar. This sets you in the right direction for healthy and meaningful conversations. This stops office politics in its tracks.

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion, Leadership, Management

Practice Safe Stress . . . For Your Health
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
June 30, 2022
What happens to you when things are not going your way? Do you hide under the covers and become a zombie? Or do you hit the “yell button” and let the whole world know you do not like what is happening? Read this and learn to move from either “Zombieville” or “Freakoutville” to the smooth highway of Safe Stress. For leadership development and executive coaching, this gives you the skinny on how to handle your emotions at work and then bring what you learn home. You will be better off for it.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

Gutsy Success Guidebook
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
January 24, 2022
The Gutsy Success Guidebook is the companion Workbook to the Award Winning GUTSY

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion, Leadership, Management

Pattern Aware Success Guide: Companion to Don't Bring It To Work
Creative Energy Options, Incorporated
January 24, 2022
This is a daily guide that will help you increase your self-awareness and ability to be a leading force in your workplace. Use it as a daily roadmap to find the way OUT of what no longer supports your life. It will help you to strengthen your capacity to Observe, Understand and Transform patterns that you no longer need nor want.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

The 21st Century GUTSY Heroine's Journey
Creative Energy Options Publishing; 1st edition
November 12, 2014
Each person’s journey is both unique and similar.

Follow our Heroines’ stories in this book to help you as you travel the
uncharted territory of finding what really matters in your life, to creating all the beauty and joy imaginable.

You will have to face challenges and dangers. Know that a mentor will be there to guide you.

And when you return you will have a new freedom that is contagious. Once you are back you can use your special knowledge to help others.

When the call to adventure comes, answer it. Of course, you will have doubts. Answer anyway.

So, Ms. Heroine…..
...Keep Going and Keep Growing

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Tags: Diversity and Inclusion

Five Leadership Development Lessons: Taking the OUCH from Office Politics
Creative Energy Options Publishing; 1st edition
November 08, 2014
Break the Cycle of repeating the same old ways of communicating and learn to use the power of dialogue to prevent conflicts and produce cooperation.
Talking together is the foundation of working together. In this book you learn the behavioral ground rules for getting past simple “yes” and “no” answers to find new and powerfully creative solutions to problems.

Explore the FIVE vital lessons for leaders to take the OUCH from frustrating conversations:
1. Telling the truth is NOT spilling your guts
2. Work is NOT a rehab facility
3. Dialogue is NOT just emotion and repetition
4. Outcomes are best if you stay open NOT attached
5. You win when you see everything as connected NOT separate

Leave outdated ways to communicate and resolve conflict in the recycle bin. Dialogue defuses defensiveness and creates camaraderie filled with practical wisdom.

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Tags: Change Management, Leadership, Management

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Rebuilding Trust: The Warriors’ Path to Championship Greatness after the “Green-Poole Incident”
Thinkers360
May 25, 2023

Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I recently saw a podcast where Warrior Draymond Green discussed their frustrating end-of-the-season loss.

He addresses the punch heard loud and clear.The one that somehow got onto social media where he punched teammate Jordan Poole.

The Podcast with Stephen A. Smith is here.

OUCH!

All teams are the same, whatever their product or service.

That is to say; Green wished the conflict had been handled sooner. The punch was in October 2022, and the Warriors sadly ended their season in May 2023.

When Green talked about his role in the confrontation, making me think about my company.

To clarify, I have the same issue. Only it was with words, not fists.

Thus, whether my company finally decides on remote, hybrid, or being in the office full-time is less of an issue than how employees handle daily upsets and conflicts.

For example, let me tell you about Jill.

She has all the proper credentials. It does not get any better than Harvard MBA, so they say.

Super-achievers get stuck with the need to be right rather than happy.

However, Jill’s trap is to be stuck in that category of life titled “need to win.” And her “winning way” is to defend, explain, and justify her position rather than ask questions and collaborate.

As a senior VP, Jill is a whiz at marketing and has contributed significantly to our organization. Yet she is disliked. The word despise comes up on occasion.

Furthermore, she is attractive (is that a sexist thing to say), well-educated (as noted, a Harvard grad), and intelligent (glad this is gender-neutral).

However, when she disagrees, it becomes ugly and frustrating.

Therefore, I cannot get her to see her role in conflicts. The other person is always “that A-hole.”

Everyone wants to be a positive role model to work colleagues.

I want you to know she never curses, and yet, everyone at some point (including me) ends up in the A-hole category.

I once played ignorant and asked her exactly what the A in A-hole stands for, to hear her say the word “ass.”

Consequently, she smiled, shrugged, and said I should figure it out myself.

I can’t figure out the next steps. Her behavior around conflict is not working.

What tools and tips do you have to help me help her?

And could you also have some golden rules for the Warriors for next season? They are my favorite team.

Go Dubs!

Signed,

Needs Cooperation

Leadership programs must include self-awareness training.

Dear Needs Cooperation,

Whether it is sales, marketing, IT, or administrative support, the common denominator is how people get along to get the work done. Recent studies should keep you even more awake at night than you are.

I don’t want to upset you; I want you to know the high cost of unresolved conflict.

These studies indicate that regardless of the economy being up or down, “people stuff” sets companies apart.

  1. Ninety-three percent of workers report being “negatively affected by an inability to deal with conflict on the job.”
  2. Well over half, sixty-nine percent, avoid confronting co-workers on accountability issues.
  3. Human resource professionals report having to intervene thrice weekly in conflict.
  4. Over thirty percent of retail, food, and leisure employees experience hostility at work every day.
  5. Senior executives and business owners spend more than half their time resolving staff personality conflicts, double the time spent in the 1990s.
  6. Healthcare expenditures are fifty percent higher for workers who report high-stress levels, and conflict-ridden work environments create stress.

Are you feeling like you are carrying a significant burden on your back? Well, guess what?

The impact of conflict at work can be a deal breaker for most organizations.

Conflict, instead of collaboration, is expensive and takes the fun out of any creative work. Creativity could and should be done in a fast and furious frenzy of creative energy.

Collaboration is the goal. Now, how to get there.

Take a deep breath and keep reading—first, more bad news.

To get a complete sense of the financial hemorrhaging at most companies, you must factor in other big-ticket items such as lawsuits and the cost of employee turnover (estimated at 30 percent to 150 percent of an employee’s salary).

Consequently, an untold loss due to a distracted and stressed workforce shows reduced productivity and passive-aggressive absenteeism.

Leadership training for everyone brings passive-aggressive behavior to the surface.

Ug, passive-aggressive absenteeism?

That is when someone calls in sick (not!), so they don’t have to face someone (maybe Jill?). Or they call in sick to prove the work cannot get done without them.

Hang in there; we are almost done with the statistics.

In addition, here is one more study by the American Management Association. Employees spend about 25 percent of their time, or two hours daily, in unproductive workplace disputes with colleagues.

Leadership training programs that include emotional intelligence training are robust.

Firstly, here are some new ideas about conflict at work.

You ask, “Why do tensions get dialed up at work?”

Moreover, that is a good beginning question.

Conflict runs rampant in the workplace because of our natural and universal tendency to bring our families to work.

“Yikes,” you say, “that is impossible. I dropped the kids at school; my wife works on the other side of town. So, what are you talking about?”

Workplace flare-ups go deep; if we look, we can track them back to patterned behavior we learned as kids in our original organization, the family.

Most importantly, we bring these patterns into our present work organizations.

Gravity and family patterns are similar once you understand how they work.

Think about gravity. We must learn to appreciate that it keeps our feet down on the planet. And thanks to gravity, if a ball is thrown high in the air, it will, no matter what we intend, it will fall to earth, and if we happen to be standing in its trajectory, it will bop us on the head.

Here is what we know about workplace conflict: professional relationships can be filled with emotional tensions, just like relationships at home.

Above all, we strive to be wise, philosophical, and mature professionally. Much of the time, we are.

And then, that guy over there sets your teeth on edge because it reminds you of how your older brother used to mock you.

Perhaps someone made a mess in the community kitchen.

Disrespecting a boss is often similar to disrespecting a parent or caretaker.

Suddenly you are mad, frustrated, upset, and unsure why. You get angry when you find yourself cleaning up again, as you always used to when your mother never cleaned up after dinner.

This reality is played out repeatedly everywhere on the planet; this is the underbelly of what much of the workplace statistics concerning conflict are ultimately about.

Okay, okay, you say, I got it. The big question is what I do about it.

Team dialogue is far different from proving who is right or wrong.

In any case, do something to begin the dialogue with your team.

In today’s fast-paced and complex world, success in the workplace is often attributed to the ability to think critically, solve problems, and work effectively as a team.

While individual skills are crucial, harnessing the power of systems thinking can elevate teams to new heights.

In short, systems thinking is a holistic approach that allows individuals to understand the interconnections and dynamics of complex systems.

Identifying Root Causes is the first order of business.

Systems thinking encourages team members to look beyond surface-level issues and identify the underlying causes of problems.

Rather than placing blame on individuals, a systems-oriented team would explore how various elements within the system contribute to the problem.

This approach promotes a collaborative environment where teams work together to address the root causes, leading to long-lasting solutions.

For example: In a marketing team, instead of blaming a particular employee for a failed campaign, a systems-thinking approach would involve analyzing the marketing strategy, target audience, competitive landscape, and internal processes to identify the root causes of the campaign’s failure.

Understanding Interdependencies is a powerful way to consider conflicts.

Ultimately, systems thinking emphasizes understanding interdependencies within a system.

Team members who grasp the interconnected nature of their work can identify how their actions and decisions affect others, leading to improved coordination and collaboration.

Recognizing these interdependencies allows teams to align their efforts, minimize conflicts, and optimize overall performance.

In other words, in software development, a systems-thinking team understands that changes made by one developer can have a ripple effect throughout the entire codebase.

They prioritize communication and consider the impact of their work on other team members, ensuring smooth integration and minimizing conflicts during the development process.

Embracing Feedback Loops will move individuals and teams from conflict to collaboration.

Similarly, systems thinking encourages teams to view feedback as an essential learning process.

By recognizing the feedback loops within a system, teams can continuously improve their performance.

They actively seek customer, colleague, and stakeholder feedback and use it to refine their strategies and adapt to changing circumstances.

Look at it this way. A customer support team that embraces systems thinking regularly collects customer feedback, analyzes patterns and trends, and shares this information with product development and marketing teams.

Indeed, by leveraging these feedback loops, the team can identify opportunities for improvement, enhance customer satisfaction, and drive innovation.

Systems thinking encourages team members to step back and look at the big picture.

Instead of focusing solely on their tasks, they consider the broader context and align their actions with the team’s objectives. This holistic perspective fosters collaboration, improves decision-making, and enhances the team’s ability to achieve its goals.

Thus, systems thinking in a project management team allows members to consider various factors, such as budget constraints, resource availability, and stakeholder expectations.

By understanding the interplay between these elements, the team can develop realistic project plans, allocate resources effectively, and deliver successful outcomes.

Cultivate an environment where creativity and innovation can thrive using systems thinking.

Hence, teams can identify opportunities for improvement, innovation, and disruption by understanding the complex interactions within a system. This mindset encourages individuals to challenge the status quo, think outside the box, and propose novel solutions to existing problems.

Example: A design team that applies systems thinking actively explores how their products or services interact with users, the environment, and other stakeholders. By understanding the broader system, they can identify innovative features, address usability issues, and create products that deliver a superior user experience.

Systems such as family, work, or community give a better route to success.

In conclusion: Combining family systems and generic systems thinking is a powerful approach that enables teams to see the bigger picture, understand complex interdependencies, and tackle challenges collaboratively.

You can read more about systems thinking in my book, “Don’t Bring It To Work” (especially pages 183-185.)

By applying systems thinking principles, teams can identify root causes, adapt to change, and optimize performance.

I did not want to focus too much on the Green- Poole punch. Only those who were there can address the situation appropriately. I only want to say that Draymond Green was accountable for his part in the altercation on the Podcast.

And Jordan Poole has also spoken out respectfully.

We are all connected, and no one wins unless we all should be the 21st center mantra.

What happens when conflict rears its head and makes us behave uncomfortably? It is a catalyst to help all of us think in broader terms.

Systems thinking is what the world needs now to get us from the cycles of violence and discrimination worldwide.

Let’s keep going and growing.

Here’s to your success,

Sylvia Lafair

PS. Now is the time to look conflict in the face. Go to www.ceoptions.com and sign up for a free copy of chapter one of the Amazon best seller “Invisible Stress: It’s NOT What YOU Think.”

Stress has many faces. Learn what triggers your anger and how to move from mad to glad.

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Tags: Leadership

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Sylvia Lafair, PhD