Aug19
Having friends at work doesn’t just make your day more enjoyable—it’s also a powerful driver of productivity, engagement, and commitment. It turns out that meaningful workplace connections can significantly enhance our professional lives, not just emotionally but also in terms of performance.
In You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How to Show Up as One!), we explore how workplace friendships are among the strongest predictors of productivity. The research shows that when we feel connected to our colleagues, we’re more likely to make better decisions, stay engaged in our tasks, and remain committed to our goals.
Yet, despite these benefits, building friendships at work isn’t always straightforward. Organizational hierarchies and the perception of ulterior motives can make forming these relationships feel like a balancing act. However, these work-place connections are vital to our psychological and physical well-being. Simply put, we can’t perform at our best unless we feel connected to others.
The philosopher Aristotle identified three types of friendships, each serving different purposes:
In the workplace, these types of friendships often overlap. The culture of your organization likely has unspoken rules about the appropriate boundaries and depths of these relationships. But when nurtured correctly, even friendships of utility can evolve into something more meaningful and mutually beneficial.
Drawing from the insights in You, Me, We, if you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves. This principle is fundamental in cultivating any relationship, whether it’s personal or professional.
When you focus on making others feel valued and understood, they’re more likely to reciprocate and engage with you positively. This seems simple, but our own egos often get in the way. We’re naturally inclined to seek validation and attention for ourselves.
Our research shows that the old adage, "prioritize the other person’s needs and feelings over your own desire to impress," might actually do more harm than good. This mindset can lead to saying 'yes' when we should say 'no,' people-pleasing, and ultimately doing what others want at our own expense. Instead, the true key to building strong relationships is to prioritize the other person’s needs and feelings alongside your own. It's the AND of life—how can I help you be successful while also ensuring my own success?
This approach shifts us away from the outdated win-lose, scarcity mindset and towards a philosophy of abundance and generosity. It’s about focusing on how we can be better together, creating outcomes where both parties benefit. Whether it's sharing the credit for a successful project or collaborating to overcome a challenge, embracing this balanced perspective strengthens relationships and builds a more supportive and productive work environment.
For two people to deeply connect, it’s essential to move beyond surface-level interactions. As we discuss in Cultivate. The Power of Winning Relationships, relationships thrive on shared experiences and honest communication. The concept of self-disclosure—gradually sharing more personal details as trust builds—is crucial for deepening any relationship.
However, in a competitive work environment, this can feel risky. To navigate this, consider these practical steps:
Look Up, Show Up, Step Up
To truly cultivate meaningful friendships at work, follow the "Look Up, Show Up, Step Up" framework from You, Me, We:
Friendships at work aren’t just a nice-to-have; they’re a must-have for a fulfilling and successful career. If you’re looking to deepen your workplace friendships, try these suggestions and watch how your professional life transforms.
Keywords: HR, Leadership, Management